Say What Now?

Weird Stuff Goes Down

2010-07-25T12:00:00.000-07:00

Creepy Cat

I had the strangest encounter with a cat the other day. I had taken the elevator up to my floor at the hostel. Upon exiting I noticed an adorable black and white cat a few steps down the staircase. I stopped and stared for a minute or so because I haven't seen a cat in like forever and this one was pretty adorable.

I said "Hi kitty!" because I'm crazy and I like cats and the cat started meowing back at me for a solid 3 or 4 minutes, without any interjection from me, as if it was attempting to talk to me. I took a step toward it and it ran a few more steps down. At this point I figured this cat wasn't going to let me pet it so I turned around to walk to the door to the hostel and the cat meowed at me again. I turned back, looked at it strangely and yet another meow. So I took a few steps toward it and it ran down some more stairs.

Repeat process of me stopping following it, the cat meowing at me when I stopped and then trotting down some more stairs when I took steps towards it several times down the entire staircase until we ended up in the creepy dark hallway on the bottom floor that leads back to I have no idea probably murdersville.

The cat ended up deep in the dark shadows of the hallway and I could only tell where it was because it's eyes were reflecting the light behind me.

And this point I was insanely curious about where this cat wanted me to follow it, but I've also seen a couple horror movies. A person who follows a strange talking animal down a dark hallway in an unfamiliar place ALWAYS gets killed. Always. It's kind of a rule.

I also thought it would be ridiculous if my curiosity about a cat killed me (curiosity killed the cat) and since I don't have 9 lives, I decided it was best for my health to just go back up to the hostel.

I've since ventured down that hallway when it was light and there's nothing interesting down there, but maybe it's the cat that makes it interesting.

Friendship

I have this weird thing with good guy friends - I can tell within a few times of hanging out with them whether or not we're going to be very good friends. It doesn't happen with boyfriends and it doesn't happen with girl friends (I'm actually usually completely wrong about girl friends - I never anticipate well which girls I'll be great friends with) and it doesn't happen with guy friends in general - only guy friends that turn out to be some of my best friends. I've known for all my very good guy friends.

I had this same feeling with hotboss. Of course, I know it's never going to happen, but there was the same amiability and, after I got over the blushing factor and actually had some conversations with him, I felt immediately comfortable - too comfortable actually, because I started teasing him and he got a bit defensive with one of them. I think if I had stuck around longer we'd ended up very good friends.

Or maybe my intuition would have been wrong for the first time ever.

Who knows.

(And if you're a guy friend of mine you know if you're a very good friend and if you are, then yes, I knew. I didn't tell you because it sounds creepy).

I'm So Excited!

2010-07-24T14:32:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited that I'm just like Jessie Spano! Except, you know, without the drugs and the freaking out and stuff. But the excited part applies. A lot.

SO EXCITED!

Ugh, even caps lock doesn't express it enough.

SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Caps lock + bold + italic + a bajillion exclamation marks? Eh, nope, still not really expressing it.

I'm going to London, people. I've wanted to go to London for as long as I've known London existed. English accents are kind of my favorite. I used to have a Prince William poster (I still might depending on what my mom may have done with it). English comedy is by far my favorite comedy style. If I wasn't so obviously German I'd say I was English. You get the picture - I'm a big fan. Thus, I'm incredibly exciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiited!!! Lots of happy dancing going on here.

And now for something completely different:

Misc., etc.

2010-07-23T02:05:00.000-07:00

London Calling
London called me the other day. I was like, "what's up, London?"

"Oh, not much, just hanging around England, the usual."

"Sounds pretty cool."

"Yea, for sure. Listen, you should come visit, you're not that far and you haven't been here in like forever."

"Dude, I've been there in like never."

"I'm insulted that you forgot so fast - you were in Heathrow just a few weeks ago for a couple hours."

"Ok, ok. You're right. I'll come visit."

And that's how I ended up going to London for the last week of my time in Europe. Well, to be more specific, Oxford for two days and then London for four.

Things on Margaret Island in Order of Frequency
(most to least)

Gnats
Mosquitos
Trees
Flowers
Teenagers making out
Bicycles
Benches
Baby strollers
Ice cream vendors
Statues of famous Hungarians
Hot dudes running on the track
Adults making out like teenagers
Hot dudes running on the track shirtless
Pools
Golf carts
Fountains
Church/monestary ruins
Buses
Cars

(cars are not allowed on Margaret Island)

I'll Miss You

2010-07-21T11:12:00.000-07:00

Things I Miss About Home:
- family and friends is a given
- Free and endless ice water in restaurants (here you have to buy bottled mineral water and it's usually at least $1.50 for about 11 oz of water)
- Ice (it's possible to get ice in some places, but not generally - I'm now addicted to McD's iced tea because I can have as much ice as I want)
- Air conditioning everywhere (it's been SO HOT here and maybe 1 out of 10 places have air conditioning and that's probably being generous; thank God my office does, too bad THE MALL doesn't [I know, I couldn't believe it])
- Driving (I'm totally okay with not driving here because they're nuts and the roads are tiny, but I miss driving at home)
- The vegetables - it's so SO much easier to get fresh vegetables at home, this probably has something to do with the AC, veggies wilt a lot faster in the heat and the produce selections at most markets is pretty tiny; also, this was more in Vienna than Budapest, but they don't generally serve veggies as a side for meals and their side salads are either potatoes or cabbage covered in mayo
- Breakfast - there is almost no breakfast culture here. They usually grab a roll or croissant. The closest to american breakfast I've been able to find was this place that had "ham and eggs" on the menu - this meant that a couple slices of deli ham were laid in a large skillet, then three eggs were cracked on top, leaving the yolks whole, cooked sunny side up then served on a plate intact. And I was really happy about this because it's the closest I've gotten to american style breakfast.
- WIFI - I never realized how much I now take wifi for granted, and it hasn't even been around that long. A dependable wifi connection is hard to come by here.

Things I'll Miss About Europe:
- The beer, it's just seriously so delicious, even the really cheap stuff
- Leisurely meals, you can sit and talk for as long as you want, no pressure, no bigger tip expected and they don't bring the check until you ask for it
- The pillows, they're huge and firm, which is perfect for a side sleeper like me (not so good for stomach or back sleepers)
- The atmosphere, everything has tons of history, I wish some of the buildings could talk
- The public transportation system, I miss driving, but I almost don't. I've been able to get everywhere I've wanted to quickly and easily between the trams and undergrounds (I haven't even bothered with the buses).
- The white asparagus - this was pretty much just Vienna, but it was white asparagus season when we first got there and it was EVERYWHERE, soups, main dishes, side dishes, etc. and it was amazingly delicious.
- The food in general - I don't think I've had a single meal that I've disliked here. They are all at least good, but most are super good. Most especially these rolls they have that are basically a roll version of crusty french bread - so good with butter.
- Clothes dryers - there are washers, but everything is line dried. I need to shrink up my jeans SO BAD and I've really missed the smell of clothes right out of the dryer. Also, their washers have like half the capacity of washers at home, so because most places charge by the load you end up paying double.

Things I Won't Miss About Europe:
- Not bringing the check until you ask for it - yea, this is great for leisurely meals, but sometimes you really just need to get a move on to somewhere else. I don't think I've had a sit down waiter meal that's lasted under an hour and a half.
- Manpris - I'm pretty sure every european male owns at least one pair of manpris and they are AWFUL. I wish they would just wear normal shorts, the manpris are just so, so bad.
- Sundays - in Vienna more so than Budapest, but EVERYTHING is closed on Sundays: grocery stores, retail stores, restaurants; the only places open are chain fast food places; this always threw me off because at home I'm used to gearing up for the week on Sunday and doing grocery shopping and running errands. I consistently forgot that I needed to go to the grocery store on Saturday, not Sunday.

Sweating and Blushing

2010-07-14T09:35:00.000-07:00

IT IS SO HOT, you guys. SO HOT.

My desktop weather thingy says that the temps for the next four days are 97, 99, 98, and 94. Oh, and 60% humidity.

On the plus side I have a nice steam room wherever I go so my skin has never looked better. Unfortunately that goes along with sweating through every piece of clothing I own. Yea, I know it sounds gross, but at least you're just reading about it and not living it.

I'm apparently adjusting, though. I'm not sweating/glistening nearly as much as I was before at lower temperatures.

Okay, in exchange for having to read about sweat I'll give you a story about me embarrassing myself that you can laugh at:

Hot Boss hasn't toned down his hotness in the office despite my insistence that it's out of control (insistence communicated by blushing whenever he says hi to me).

Today he asked for my email so he could either 1) flirt with me without our coworkers knowing, or 2) send me a contract to review (in homage to awesome choose your own adventure books, I'll let you pick the option).

After sending me the email he came out of his office to let me know and then asked how to pronounce my last name, which I pronounced. Knowing that he knows German (what? so I read his bio on the company website. You're supposed to read the website of the company you work for, no?) and knowing that my family does not pronounce our last name correctly according to its origin, I was about to tell him that we pronounce it differently, he interjected asking me if I knew what it meant. I replied that it did, we had a cute little exchange of both saying the meaning at the same time, then him pronouncing it how it's originally pronounced.

He then asked if I was of germanic origin, to which I replied "I prefer Jen", because I thought he had asked me what I prefer to be called - I have no excuse other than he makes me nervous. After his confused look and my realization of what he actually asked I had two response options: 1) a long, very TMI and very 20/20-hindsight-vision-embarrassing schpiel about how I think I am but because of family stuff I wasn't sure and that the last name wasn't a blood relation thing but my mom's maiden name is very German and it IS a blood relation thing so I'm pretty sure I'm mostly German, but not entirely sure, or 2) "Yes."

I picked the first option.

I'm cringing just reliving it in my head. So, so bad. So bad.

In other law firm news: there's this old attorney that works some days at the office. Whenever I run into him I feel like I'm being tested on how smart and cultured I am and that if I'm not smart and cultured enough I'm a representation of all that is wrong with America. I know that's not true, but Americans tend to not be thought of well abroad and I don't want to confirm any "Americans are ignorant and don't care about the rest of the world" bias.

Yesterday he asked me all about films and various languages. He kept asking me if I spoke [fill in language], which I had to reply that I didn't. I said I picked up a bit of German in Germany, to which he replied something in German, which I didn't understand. I said I had picked up a couple words in Hungarian, to which he replied something in Hungarian, which I didn't understand. He asked if I knew French, which I said I don't, and then he said something in French. Finally I said that I spoke a small amount of Spanish, to which he replied something that I finally DID understand and could reply to in Spanish. That seemed to satisfy him for the day and the exchange fulfilled my awkward quota for the month.

Today was a literature quiz. Thankfully I answered well off the bat with my favorite author being John Steinbeck. He started listing off Steinbeck books and I started thinking "dangit, I was not prepared for a literature quiz, what are all of Steinbeck's books?" Thankfully he didn't make me list any. But then he went into his favorite authors, only some of which I had read or even heard of. I think I managed a B.

What? You want to hear MORE about my new office? Okay then!

I am WAY busier at the new office. They have a ton for me to do, mostly including correcting english on documents, but also some very interesting research on EU law.

I kind of freaked out today, though. Yesterday they had me read a contract and write a memo on how our client could get out of the contract. I thought I had misunderstood the assignment, because it was incredibly easy to look at the "Termination" clause of the contract and then write down what it said. Turns out that's what they were looking for and decided to communicate the contents of my memo to the client as a recommendation for how he could terminate the contract. I then freaked out and was like "Dudes! I'm not an attorney! I can't make official legal recommendations, especially on what constitutes serious breach of contract under Swedish law!" I didn't say that, but I had thankfully written basically that in more professional terms at the end of the memo. I think at some point I'll have to get used to people relying on my opinion, though.

Aaaaaaand now I'm going to go home and try and convince myself to put away my clothes, but I'll probably end up reading and then fall asleep instead. Exciting stuff!

New Jobbaroni

2010-07-12T12:52:00.001-07:00

Say goodbye to Tom everyone! ("Bye Tom!")

Despite Tom being my future husband who won't ever know it (I mean, really - tall, cute, nerdy and funny - is there a better description for my future spouse? I think not - stupid pesky "hungarian" thing getting in the way), I have moved on to another firm. It may be the best for our relationship - no worries about being found out around the office and such. One of my goals in life is to avoid being tawdry and really, an office affair would have tawdry written all over it. So I have moved on.

The new firm is a block up the street from the old firm. It adds maybe 2 minutes to my looooooooooong less than 10 minute walking commute. It's quite a bit fancier in the interior, unfortunately that means a less comfortable desk and desk chair (I'm seriously going to have to find a new chair - there's no way I'm sitting in a straight backed wooden chair full time for 3 weeks). Also, their coffee machine is woefully less fancy. I may have to drop in and say hi at the old firm just to take some coffee.

Oh, and I found my new future husband who won't ever know it. Probably the most gorgeous guy I've seen in Budapest so far AND he speaks english with an english/UK accent. Suh-woon. I literally blushed when talking to him today. That's bad news. I can't be blushing up in my workplace, that's inapprop. I think I'm going to ask him to tone down the hotness so I can get some work done.

This weekend was pretty mellow. On Saturday the director of the program invited the three of us left in B-town to a graduation party. Apparently the undergrads graduated on Saturday and there was a party for all the professors and deans. It was very sweet of him to invite us, but it's one of the most awkward things I've ever been to in my life. These professors could care less who I am and, to be honest, I could really care less who they are. Add in their not so great English and my non-existent Hungarian and it's a lot of nodding and "nice to meet you" and "oh, that's interesting, I did not know that." My one attempt at a more significant conversation with a Hungarian Constitutional scholar/prof ("what do you think of the proposed new constitution?") was met with a glare from the host. I know, I know, don't talk politics with strangers, but as I have no opinion and was just asking theirs I didn't think it would be that big of a deal. Apparently still a bit deal.

After a good dose of awkward washed down with a bigger dose of wine I headed to one of the most massive malls I've ever been to. It was huge. Massive. Gigantor. You get the hint. Notorious B-I-G big. Ok, I'm done. Just, it was big, and I want you to know that.

(They're playing Ricky Martin in the McDonald's right now, but it sounds weirdly dubbed in a different language, right music video, right music, wrong voice - just thought you should know that too).

I watched the new Twilight movie (shut up, it was one of the few movies that wasn't dubbed) then went on the hunt for a fan for my room. I smartly picked a hostel without air conditioning, which saves the buckaronis, but does not save me from sweating out a water bed at night. On the fan hunt (during which I texted Tom asking where I could buy a fan and received back "Probably this word has a meaning that I don't know. What kind of 'fan' would you like to buy? Not the kind that supports a team, right?") I ran across THIS AWESOMENESSS:

I literally gasped out loud when I saw it. I was so excited. Way, way more excited than I should have been, but it is the ONLY Starbucks in Budapest. I didn't think they had one at all.

I drank a delicious iced americano, found a fan and headed back to the hostel. I intended to clean up my room and put stuff away into drawers but instead I read and then fell asleep.

Sunday dawned bright and early with 10 chimes of the non-existent grandfather clock. I attempted to do some laundry and the kind of sort of laundrymat around the corner but the only english word these ladies knew was "tomorrow." (I went back "tomorrow," aka today, after having used the washer at my hostel and just needing the dryer and it turns out they also know "No" and "wash then dry only"). So instead I went to the two museums on either side of Heroes Square. The one on the right is useless - so glad they gave me the student discount because every single piece was a complete stretch. I must not be cultured enough. The museum on the left side was pretty awesome. They had some beautiful pieces. I really have no idea what else to write about a museum.

On to the excitement! Watching the world cup final in an Irish bar that was so insanely hot I never put down the menu because I was fanning myself with it. After 120 minutes of pretty much nothing but me sweating and drinking a Guinness, Spain scored a goal and put us all out of our misery.

Ok, fine, that wasn't exciting at all, but I ran out of writing steam and snark like 10 minutes ago but figured I needed to round out the weekend anyway. You're welcome!

The Entry Where I Wow You With My Delightful Genius

2010-07-07T02:55:00.000-07:00

I've managed to pick up a bit of both German and Hungarian in the nearly 7 weeks I've been abroad. I would hope so ... being surrounded by a language for so long and not bothering to learn any of it would make me a pretty bad guest.

I managed to learn enough German to order food fairly well, but it basically consisted of me ordering, and the waiter writing it down. If they asked any follow up questions I was screwed. That's the hard part of trying to initiate conversation in a foreign language ... they continue in the foreign language and then you look like a jerk reverting back to english when the conversation gets more complicated. That rarely happened, though. My pronunciation is so bad they usually respond in english with any follow up.

Anyway, here is my mini German and Hungarian lesson for you. Print it out and take it with you if you ever go to Austria or Hungary and you'll be all set.

GERMAN:
Ich hitte gern ein groβ Märzen und ein frittatensuppe und ein käsespaetzle ohne zwiebel, bitta. (I would like a large Märzen [type of beer] and a soup with pancake slices and cheese dumplings without onion, please).

Ich hitte gern svei wasser ohne köhlensaure, bitta. (I would like two waters without gas, please).

Danke/dankeschön (thank you/thank you very much)
Bitte/bitteschön (you're welcome/you're welcome very much)

HUNGARIAN:
(This is way more basic because almost nothing in Hungarian sounds or looks similar to the equivalent english word, so it's much more difficult than German)
Igen (yes [eegan] - they often say it in a string of three or four)
Nem (no)
Jó (okay [yo])
szia (hello or goodbye)
köszönöm (Thank you [koh-soh-gnome]
Szívesen (You're welcome [see-va-shem])
egészségedre (Two uses: like bless you after someone sneezes or as a drinking cheers - it means "to your health" [egg-geh-sheh-geh-dreh)
szeretnék kérni (I would like ... [I haven't actually used this one yet, since Tom just wrote it down yesterday and I'm pretty sure I'm not pronouncing it even close to correctly])

Tom says my pronunciation is very good, so I'm pretty proud of myself. Though most of the time I feel like I'm in the middle of that SNL Nunni sketch - the one where two people who live in a weird apartment are both named Nunni. The normal people can't hear the slight differences and keep pronouncing their names wrong ("My name is Nunni." "Hi Nunni." "No, it's pronounced Nunni." "Sorry, Nunni." "No, Nunni" and on and on ...). The strange people likewise have difficulty pronouncing normal names ("Frank" turns into "Frwowude"). Man, this reference would be so much better if SNL didn't consistently take things off of YouTube and if I could access Hulu abroad. You'll have to suffer with my poor recount of a funny skit.

Ultimate lesson: learn "hello" and "thank you" in the language of wherever you are and you'll get places. Everyone is so delighted when I bust out some Hungarian.

Tom's Favorite Joke(s)

2010-07-05T04:53:00.000-07:00

As promised, here's Tom's favorite joke (he says that it's his current favorite joke and he probably chose this one because it has an American theme):

George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are sitting in a bar. A third man walks in, sees the President and Vice-President sitting there and approaches them, exclaiming "Wow! The President AND Vice-President here in my local bar! I can't believe it. I'm so honored to meet you both."

Bush replies "it's very nice to meet you too. Dick and I were just having an argument you might be able to help us with. See, we want to start a third world war and we're debating on how to get it started. I say we should kill 3,000,000 Arabs and one postman."

The man appears confused and says "Why one postman?"

Bush turns to Cheney and says "See, I told you no one cares about 3,000,000 Arabs."

______________________________________

You peeps are so lucky. Tom gave me TWO jokes for one measly joke of mine ( after which I apparently insulted him because I said I wasn't sure if he had heard of Superman, which was the punch line).

Joke #2:

The UN attempted to conduct a survey on various country's opinions of world food shortages. They sent out the following question: "Please tell us your opinion of the lack of food in the rest of the world." This survey failed because Western Europe didn't understand "lack," Eastern Europe didn't understand "please," China didn't understand "opinion," Africa didn't understand "food," and the United States didn't understand "the rest of the world."

Tom is obviously quite into political jokes.

Why Hello There

2010-07-02T03:37:00.000-07:00

Work has become much better. Too good, in fact. I have so many projects that I had to request an extension on one of them. Hence, the lack of blog updating, which my friend, Arse, has not stopped bugging me about.

Arse asked me to include a dirty joke in my blog because he won't write one in his, but he really wants to link to one. I do not have a dirty joke. I do, however, have my coworker Tom's favorite joke.

Actually, I don't. I was going to ask him today at lunch, but he worked right through it so he could listen to the futbol/soccer game on his computer (he currently has his desk cleared of work and both his speakers and the screen pulled up towards him to watch the game - he's here and not in a bar because he still has to make billable hours). I will ask him on Monday and regale you with the hilarity. He's a pretty funny guy so I'm confident his favorite joke will also be funny. And maybe it will also be dirty and it will both entertain you and get Arse off my back. No pressure, Tom.

This is the last week that pretty much everyone other than Serious Man and Obnoxious Girl will be here, so we've been going big and not going home (until late). Well, it feels late, in reality it's about midnight, but I'm old and have to work the next day like a responsible adult!

On Wednesday night we went on a dinner cruise up the Danube and it was lovely and delicious. They served a bunch of traditional hungarian food that was pretty tasty. It's finally stopped raining, but on the downside it's become insanely hot. I can't decide which one I like less. Growing up in Southern California has definitely spoiled my range of comfortable temperatures.

On Tuesday we had drinks at the Four Seasons - it was so fancy and delightful! I'm obviously meant to spend lots of time in places like that. Along with the drinks they brought a tray full of olives, spicy almonds and mini cheese biscuits, which they refilled three times. I hadn't had lunch that day, so it was basically a free lunch with purchase of overpriced drink meal deal.

I would continue with the reverse chronology and tell you what we did on Monday, but I can't remember. I don't think it was very exciting. Oh! I do know that we saw the Amrican Embassy ... well, a conference room of the American embassy. Apparently most of the building is top secret. Not the world's greatest tour, but we did learn about a guy with a pretty awesome job in the foreign service - he basically is the american liason in Hungary for arts and entertainment (i.e., he helps out american artists who have shows in Hungary) and gets to attend pretty much all of the shows. I would want that job except for the living in a different foreign country every three years part. I like to travel, but I'd prefer to spend the majority of my time in the states.

You Take The Good, You Take The Bad

2010-06-23T01:42:00.000-07:00

... you take them both, and there you have the facts of life.

That theme song popped into my head when I decided to write this post. It's pretty apropos ... well, the lyrics, not the show. No, wait, scratch that, it's a bit similar to the show too - learning to live with people you aren't related to in a new environment. Sure, it's a bit of a comparative stretch, but I think it can work if you want it to.

Ok, away from delightful 80's TV shows and back to Budapest ...

Yesterday was a pretty great day. I arrived to work at 10am. I met with the Big Boss Man for about 5 minutes and he sent me back downstairs after handing me his business card. I have a feeling I won't be seeing him again any time soon. Very typical partner maneuver of giving the new kid a "hello, welcome, good luck, see you later." I think the assistants thought he would be assigning me tasks, and he thinks they're assigning me tasks, so I yet again had nothing to do but surf the internet (which, coincidentally, is my non-task for today, hence the blog post).

I left at noon from work to join everyone else on their tour of the Hungarian Parliament:

(all images stolen from Wikipedia because I can't upload my pictures onto my work computer)

It's an incredibly gorgeous building and the inside is just as striking as the outside. Randomly, the Speaker of the House (and, it seemed, possible new President soonish?), just happened to be in the rotunda as we were being given a tour and since the director of the program on the Hungarian side is friends with him, we were able to meet him. Seemed like quite a nice guy.

THEN we got in a bit of trouble after the tour. See, there was a sign on the wall that seemed to say "restroom", so we followed it and actually found a restroom ... so three of us used it. When we exited we found the tour guide lady and a very large guard, arms crossed and shaking his head at us as if to say "How ridiculous that they just wandered off and used a restroom they weren't instructed to use, I can't believe someone would do that." There was a LOT communicated in that shake of his head. They quickly escorted us outside, with more shaking of the guard's head. The rest of the group had apparently put their lives on the line (not really) insisting that there were some of us still behind in the building and the group couldn't quite leave yet. Seriously, do not mess with the guards in the Hungarian Parliament building.

After that little adventure, we walked around a bit and went to St. Stephan's Basilica, where they, kind of creepily, have his right hand in a glass case in one of the side chapels. The church is gorgeous, as usual. I have yet to be in a church here that wasn't completely striking and awe inspiring (Hmm, I have to think that's somehow intentional ...). I think I've been in church more on this trip than I have in the last couple years (sorry mom and dad).

After St. Stephen's we went to a famous pastry and ice cream shop: Gerbaud. It was beautiful and DELICIOUS. All four of us had something different and they were all so, so good.

I think that's actually three of the items we ordered. I had the white one in the back - crushed walnuts with creme between layers of cake. Ah-may-zing.

I headed back after snack time becuase my work shoes were definitely not hiking-around-Budapest-sight-seeing shoes. Once everyone else got back we headed down to the Gellert baths. Hot baths in intricately tiled rooms and great company? Yes please! I'd go there every day if I could. Ok, that's a lie, I probably wouldn't, but it was still amazing and relaxing.

After we towelled off and changed we headed to dinner. We were just walking down a street with a bunch of restaurants and stumbled on this great Italian-Hungarian restaurant, Rustico. We're all already kind of over the heavy traditional eastern european cuisine, so we all ordered off the Italian side of the menu. It was seriously some of the best Italian food I've ever had. I'm not sure why this surprised me, since we're much closer to Italy here than in the states. I'll definitely be going back while I'm here. We split two bottles of wine, one a delicious Rose' and the other, the traditional "Bull's Blood." The name is disgusting, but is one of the most delicious red wines I've ever had. I want to bring a couple bottles back home.

Aaaaaaaaaand after that very long day we headed back home and crashed out. One of the best days of the trip, so far.

Budapest!

2010-06-21T01:50:00.001-07:00

I know, I know. It's been a couple weeks since my last update. In my defense I've been in places with very poor internet access.

I'm currently blogging because I'm at my internship office and the boss is almost an hour late and they have no idea what to do with me. So here I sit browsing the internet until he arrives.

Budapest has been great so far, other than the sketch train station and the pushy cab drivers.

When we arrived on Saturday the leader of the program from here in Budapest had his assistant waiting for us. We thought she would just check us in and take off, but instead she drove us all around the city. We had our own private tour and it was amazing. I'll post pictures soon (since I'm on the office computer I don't have access to them).

I've now walked across the three southern bridges between Buda and Pest, have been up to the castle and museums, been to Hero's square and up and down Vac´i street, which is a main shopping street kind of like 5th Avenue, only not quite as ritzy. It's a pedestrian only zone so it's more of an outdoor mall.

Ok, I think the boss is almost here!

P.S. forgive any typos. The keyboard here is different and it underlines almost all words in red, so I have no idea which ones are actually misspelled and which are just non Hungarian and I don't have time to read closely.

Eek, Behind Already!

2010-06-06T07:46:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged for a few (several) days because 1) I've actually been out and about doing awesome stuff that I will tell you about and 2) Internet has been even more hard to come by than normal. I will do my best to catch up!

I think I'm going to save my blog on the alternative walk home from class for a bit later because there is way more exciting stuff to tell you about.

First up:
MELK MONASTERY & DURNSTEIN

On our first day as a group in Vienna a Colonel in the Army gave us a tour around Vienna to show us the sights. His job for the army is to be a historian so he knows pretty much everything you could possibly want to know about Austria and Vienna. He showed up to join us for dinner on Friday, May 28th and offered to take us in his VW bus/van on a day trip out to the countryside so we would have a chance to see more than just the city.

Five of us took him up on the offer, he picked us up the next morning at 10:30 and off we went:

(me, Alecia, Laurin)

First The Colonel took us to the Melk Monastery. The pictures of it on the Wikipedia are more gorgeous than any I took, but I'll do my best.

The inside square of the monestary:

The entire monastery was gorgeous. It's up on a hill overlooking the Danube with an adorable village at its base. The entire village is historic and picturesque. It's easily one of the most beautiful places I've ever been.

From a window of the monastery down to the village:

Ceiling of one of the rooms:

The library was beautiful, but the nerd in me was so bummed that all of these gorgeous and ancient books were basically now decoration for tourists and were no longer read.

The beautiful church:

One of the strangest things I've ever seen. In each of the side alcoves there was a small display and area for people to pray to various saints. In this one there was a glass display case with the skeleton of an actual dead guy posing:

All of us in a gorgeous archway at the front of the monastery overlooking the river:

We hiked back to the parking lot, climbed in the van, The Colonel turned the ignition and the van wouldn't start! Luckily we were on an incline and, since it was a stickshift VW, we were able to roll it back and start it up on the roll.

We took a small road along the road through several adorable villages with cobblestone streets that just barely fit a car to Durnstein.

Me and the vineyards that were stoked to get a picture with me.

Walking through the town:

The ruins of the castle on the hill:

And the famous church tower. Apparently there's some scandal that it was painted blue. For a century it was yellow (which was referred to when used in other places as Durnstein Yellow), but when they did some repair work they found out the original color was blue and restored it to the blue. The villagers were pissed, but at least it's now accurate:

And AGAIN VW Bus refused to start and again we started it by pushing it down a slight incline. Say hello to adventurebus:

Coming up: Parliament and my birthday, Prague & Bratislava.

The Nibs

2010-05-30T11:04:00.000-07:00

"Nibs" is a word I've picked up from the Seattle Four (a group of 4 cool peeps from Seattle University who decided to come on the trip together), basically just means snack or food.

Authentic Viennese food is SO RICH, but delicious.

They don't really eat breakfast here. They go for a roll or croissant and a cup of coffee. In the afternoon they all go to coffeehouses and have cappuccino and some rich pastry. It's delicious and hopefully all the walking I do will make up for it.

Oh, by the way, I've fallen in love. I might not come back to the states because we're just so freaking happy together.

Meet my new life partner, Apfelsaft Gespritzt:

It's basically just apple juice with soda water, but who knew something so simple could be so delicious? We seriously need this in the states! Except, maybe not, because it probably has a ton of cals. I'm just ignoring that.

My first Vienna sausage:

Also incredibly delicious. They take a long, hard roll, cut the end off and push it down on this metal thing that punches a hole in the middle and kind of toasts the inside, squirt some mustard in there and put a sausage in. It's amazing. I'm trying to stop myself from eating one every day for lunch from the stand around the corner from the University.

In an attempt to save some money and not eat McD's or a croissant every morning, I picked up some milk and cereal at the grocery store. At least, when I bought it I hoped it was milk and cereal.

I bought the little "milch" in case it was actually some kind of weird milk and I couldn't tell. I figured if it had a cow on it, it had to be normal milk. Turned out to be just fine! And the cereal is super delicious.

And, of course, what kind of blogger who's posting a blog on food would I be if I didn't include the best part of Vienna: the beer.

That one is pretty good, but this one, the Mai Bock, brewed at 7 Stern Brau (the biergarten I usually get my wifi at), is amazing. I'm not really a beer connoisseur, so I can't really explain it, but it's a light beer, fairly hoppy and ... wheaty? I mean, it tastes heavier like a Blue Moon, but better. That's probably a really awful description of a really delicious beer.

Coming up: an alternative walk home from class, a massive monastery and adorable village, and Parliament.

The Long Walk

2010-05-27T01:47:00.000-07:00

My commute from the Academy to the law school is a little over a mile. Normally I'd be like "hell no! Where's the public transit?" but a combination of being completely baffled by the public transportation system (which I'm sure is actually quite convenient, but all in German) and the scenic walk makes me enjoy the hike every morning. I thought I'd take you along for the ride and take pictures along the way this morning.

My walk starts down this little street, which is part of Spittelberg, one of the oldest parts of Vienna and right behind the Academy:

World's smallest garage?

At the end of this road I make a right and after about a block, the Volkstheater is on the right (it's also the location of an underground station, but I have no idea where it goes or where it comes from, so as of now it's useless to me):

The entire next block is taken up by this building, which I honestly haven't figure out the name of yet:

The next block is an absolutely gorgeous park that I haven't yet seen the inside of because finding an actually open gate is nearly impossible. Oh! These sidewalk markings are INCREDIBLY important, ignore one and you'll either be run over by a cyclist or have them angrily thumb their bell at you until you move out of their way:

Across from the park is the Austrian Parliament, which we'll be visiting on my birthday (Monday, May 31st). Here's a sneak peak of where the Austrian magic happens:

I was super tempted to hop on this thing to figure out how much I've lost walking miles around this city, but then I remembered that there's no way in hell I'd weigh myself in public:

It's overcast today, but this shade is incredibly welcome most days:

Right after the park on the right is this building:

And on the left is this building:

And adorable cafe that I really want to try out but based on the fancy business looking dudes and ladies eating there I imagine it's roughly one billion euro for a cup of coffee:

Hang a right at this fine lady:

And after two blocks there is the University of Vienna Law School building that the architect says is supposed to look like a head, but really looks nothing like one (it's the glass one left on the end of the block):

The Start of It

2010-05-25T08:50:00.001-07:00

Let me give you a travel tip right off the bat: READ THE AIRLINE WEBSITE BAGGAGE SECTION VERY CAREFULLY. I had read it, I thought I had read it carefully, HOWEVER, I missed something pretty important. Turned out that I could NOT stuff my giant suitcase with as much crap as would fit and just be able to pay the overages. They have a "heavy suitcase" cutoff limit ... which I was over by 20 lbs. Yea, the normal heavy overages is an extra 20 lbs, I was 20 lbs over that.

So, at LAX I had to buy a second bag, and shove 40 pounds of stuff into it and they pay for an extra bag, which is exactly the opposite of what I had wanted to do. Now I get to lug around two suitcases. So, if you learn anything from me, learn to read airline websites carefully.

The flight over was uneventful. I got the bulkhead with extra leg room, but I was still uncomfortable sitting for 10 hours. I don't think anyone is. I seriously considered sneaking into the business class seats that lay down that were right on the other side of the divider. I still think it's rude that they separate the "peons" from the richy-rich's with a giant curtain. Then again, if I was a richy-rich, I would probably appreciate keeping the riff raff away.

So, I got into Vienna just fine, grabbed a train from the airport to the city center, then a cab to where we're staying at the Austrian National Defense Academy. The academy is located at Stiftgasse 2. Well, the cab dropped me off at Stiftgasse 2, which was 2 massive locked wooden doors. Half a block down is Stiftgasse 7. That couldn't be it, so I walked back the other way and around the corner ... with no luck. And back to Stiftgasse 2 and then 7 and then 2a. Jackpot! Massive driveway doors with a little side door.

Here it is:

Grand, ain't it? It's pretty gorgeous.

The view from my room is equally beautiful and quaint.

My first meal in Vienna was less than exciting - Chicken nuggets at McDonald's. I apparently arrived over a holiday weekend (which, I have been told, is like Easter and Christmas combined) and EVERYTHING that wasn't a chain was shut down. So, McDonald's for dinner and Starbucks for breakfast the next morning.

Yea, McDonald's in Vienna. I should be shot for the sacrilege, but check out how freaking fancy this McD's is!

And this just made me giggle:

Hallo!

2010-05-25T08:44:00.000-07:00

So, it's almost June of 2010, nearly a full year since I last blogged about my housing assignment for law school (which turned out pretty well, actually).

I ended up not blogging because I waited for so long and had too much to blog. I just couldn't figure out a way to catch up. But, really, my first year of law school wasn't that exciting. It was my life and it's changed my life irrevocably, but there's not much to tell about it. I did a lot of reading, there was some personal drama, I met a lot of very awesome people, I missed my family and friends back home, I did pretty well, I drank not very often but quite a bit when I did, and then it was over.

Why am I picking it back up? Well I'm currently studying abroad in Vienna for four weeks and then doing an internship in Budapest for six weeks and this here bloggy blog will be like a diary of sorts that I can look back at and remember the times when I was walking down cobblestone streets and drinking amazing beer instead of doing nothing but reading in our dungeony law library.

And off it goes ...

Housing

2009-06-10T09:30:00.000-07:00

Application to Housing Office:

(rough summary of essay)
I would prefer to have a studio. I tend to get stressed out around other people and think it would be best for my success in law school if I was able to have my own space. If a studio isn't available, as few roommates as possible would be preferred (i.e., the two bedroom apartment option). As few roommates as possible is very important to me, with none being the top preference. Blah blah blah PLEASE GIVE ME A STUDIO!

Response from Housing Office:

Congratulations! We have assigned you to the 4 bedroom house with three other roommates!

Art.

2009-05-09T23:18:00.000-07:00

I love to be creative and work with my hands. There's something so satisfying about finishing a project and having the physical evidence of your genius/perseverance/hard work right in front of you. It's the reason that I, despite how much I may grumble about it, actually like putting together Ikea furniture.

Unfortunately, I'm not really that creative myself. Fortunately, I'm a damn good copy cat and love to find art/projects that I can figure out how to make on my own.

A few months ago I came across some pictures of paper sculptures by Jen Stark:

The sculptures are absolutely gorgeous. I would LOVE to own an original, but I can't even imagine the cash dollars they must cost. After looking through tons of photos of her work I settled on one to make a knock off of:

After spending hours staring at the photograph figuring out how the sculpture was made; creating a small version; creating a cutting template; organizing the paper; figuring out the most efficient way to make it happen; and many, many more hours actually cutting and shaping the paper, I came up with a pretty satisfactory replica of the blue sculpture:

For a first try, I'm pretty happy with it. I had to make a LOT of compromises on the paper color, the number of sheets and the graduation of the color because of art store supply constraints. I think next time I do something like this I'll take the time to order the right colors of paper online.

I think I'm going to try this one for my next project:

I Swear I'm Not Turning Into A Food Blogger

2009-04-20T22:05:00.000-07:00

But this looked and tasted SO GOOD:

Grilled chicken, roasted garlic asparagus, and whole wheat couscous.

Took 20 min from start to finished in the bowl.

Only downside? I probably put too much garlic on the asparagus. It was delicious, but I'm totally going to have garlic smell tomorrow.

Then, I negated the healthiness with a dirty vodka martini (no picture) for dessert. The perfect end to a Monday.

Chez Jen

2009-04-15T22:33:00.000-07:00

To save some cash dollars I've been trying to get back into cooking at home more often. I love cooking, I just don't get off work until 6:30 and the idea of spending another hour or so whipping something up after work just exhausts me.

I'm getting over myself though and have done a little bit of old and new recipes this week and am pretty proud of myself for what I've put together from the contents of my cabinets.

Monday I made turkey tacos - ground lean turkey, taco seasoning, small white corn tortillas, bit of avocado, low fat cheese, and Cholula hot sauce. I usually add black beans, but I had forgotten to buy more.

Tuesday I made a taco salad with leftover seasoned ground turkey, lettuce, avocado, chickpeas, black beans, black olives, and low fat cheese with a simple dressing I made up of fresh lime juice, hot sauce and a bit of extra virgin olive oil.

I had most of a can of chickpeas and about 1/3 of a can of black beans left and didn't want to toss them (and didn't have anything clean to store them in), so I decided to try making some black bean hummus. It actually turned out pretty well, despite the several substitutions I had to make. Chickpeas, black beans, extra virgin olive oil, finely chopped garlic, salt, pepper, lime juice (instead of lemon), a few dashes of a spice blend, and toasted sesame seeds in place of tahini because I didn't have any. It could use some actual tahini for taste and a smoother texture but I was really pleased with how delicious it turned out, especially since it was my first time attempting it and had to wing it on several ingredients.

And tonight - the piece de resistance - split pea soup from scratch. I used basically this recipe: Simple Split Pea Soup (that website is awesome for healthy food ideas, by the way) minus the garlic because I forgot to put it in, but it was completely delicious without it. Mine was different because the store was out of dried split peas and I had to use a pea soup package. I tossed the flavoring packet and just used the dried split peas, but the measurements were off from the recipe. I added a teaspoon of sour cream to my bowl, but think I would have preferred without.

Man, that soup was/is delicious.

Plan for tomorrow: small taco salad with rest of ground turkey and pea soup.

Ok, this is rambling, but whatevs, I'm so proud of myself and I've gotten major use out of the immersion blender I got for Christmas!

One of the Many Reasons My Parents Are Awesome

2009-03-22T19:21:00.000-07:00

A classic email from my dad:

Hi Hug Bug!!

I have res. for fri jet blue. we are staying at a dump called Marriot Fairfield Inn. It'a a fancy name for a flop house/drug sales/weekly rooms hotel. There will probably be drunks in the halls but they are usually passed out and there is not a lot of gunfire inside the hotel, some but not a lot. Pencil yourself in

Love,
Yer Paw

Yes, We Can!

2009-03-07T14:48:00.000-08:00

I like to use my minor celebrity status* to bring awareness to important issues plaguing our society. I previously brought you the problem of awful prints and paintings uglifying our nation's offices.

Today I bring you something even more shocking. I personally cannot believe we, as an advanced and caring society, would let this happen or continue for as long as it has.

Ladies and gentlemen, our country has a severe lack of ice cube trays (I bolded that so you wouldn't miss the important part).

I have been to Target three times, Walmart twice and the grocery store several times a week for the last month and NONE OF THEM HAVE ICE CUBE TRAYS.

All I want to do is portion out some sauces into individual servings and maybe freeze some water when my drink needs cooling, but I have been thwarted from my effort by these callous and uncaring corporate giants. None of their associates seem to care that my pesto is going to go bad before I can divvy it up for freezing. THE PESTO IS GOING TO DIE IF WE DO NOT QUICKLY ADDRESS THIS UNACCEPTABLE AND IMPORTANT ISSUE. Do you want to be responsible for the death of my pesto? I'm guessing not.

So get on the phones, get to your typewriters, fax machines, computers, or even good old pen and paper (I don't discriminate based on your embrace of technological advancement) and write your representatives, hell, write Obama, and let's work together to get this fixed.

Say it with me: YES, we CAN get some damn ice cube trays in a freaking store somewhere in the southern Orange County area. YES, WE CAN!

___________________
*Copy and pasted from my IMDB resume:

Television
- Dane Cook at the Laugh Factory (2006) ... Audience Member
- Superbowl XXXII Motown halftime show(1998) ... Dancer

Film
- Where The Light Is - John Mayer Live in Los Angeles (2008) ... Audience Member

Stage
- M*A*S*H (1997) ... Dr. Ruth, Ph.D.

Owwwwww

2009-03-04T16:43:00.001-08:00

I've been getting up early and going to the gym before work lately (ok, fine, the last two days) and have been very proud of myself.

Two days down and the rest of my life to go (le sigh).

I am now sore in muscles I forgot existed. One of those is my pectoral right next to my armpit, which apparently is used constantly in my job of sitting at a desk and moving rarely. I've been massaging it and just now realized that I look like I'm massaging my boob. It is all about class up in here!

My weekly plan is to workout in the mornings except for Friday, when I'll do yoga and some quality sauna/steamroom/whirlpool time. Then more yoga Saturday and this fun class on Sunday. I'm hoping to kind of make it a daily routine so I can get used to it faster. I'm hoping the yoga on Friday and Saturday will count as days off to my body. What do you think?

Uhm ...

2009-03-02T14:06:00.001-08:00

Hey, Frito-Lay, can we talk? Can we sit down and have a bit of a chat about your newest ad campaign targeting women? The one that includes this little piece of ... something:

http://www.awomansworld.com/#/Webisodes/4/4

THAT IS OFFENSIVE, FRITO-LAY! Did you have Mel Gibson's ad-man character from What Women Want pitch this? Because being overcome by the Gibson's charm is the only way I can think of that would get this idea actually made.

I'm not really sure how you think playing up sexist stereotypes of women cooing over weight loss via illness would make anyone want to eat potato chips.

It actually makes me want to throw up (which should apparently make me really happy because that means I'll lose weight! I should watch these more often as part of my diet).

The Shortest Entry With The Longest Title You Will Ever See On My Blog

2009-02-10T10:06:00.000-08:00

I'm in!

Things My Boss Has Said

2009-02-06T09:54:00.000-08:00

Client: How is this guy [my boss] to work for?

Me: Good! He's a great mentor.

Boss: Mentor is code for "he doesn't pay crap, but he lets me sit in on stuff."

2009-02-05T17:03:00.000-08:00

Stupid online status checker.

Sitting there on my screen taunting me with

Decision Mailed
2/2/2009

BUT NO MAIL IN MY MAILBOX.

Where are you admissions letter?

Please get here soon.

I don't want to waitress in Mexico.

Sincerely,

Jen

Uhh ...

2009-02-04T12:02:00.000-08:00

I think I may have gotten into law school. Yea, it's kind of open ended and ambiguous like that.

I received an email from the law school's activity committee that said "Welcome!" Which confused me because I had received neither a large acceptance envelope nor a (always depressing) small rejection envelope. So I made a few clicks to the admissions status website which said the decision had been mailed on Monday.

I'm taking this as a sign that I got in. If I didn't get in then that activity committee is SADISTIC and mean.

It's not my number one school, it's not even my number 5 school, but it does mean that if I don't get into schools 1-5 that I at least don't have to move to Mexico and become a waitress from the shame of not managing to get into law school two years in a row.

It's a very appreciable weight lifted off my shoulders.

Maybe.

Damn envelope.

Love.

2009-01-12T22:35:00.001-08:00

I want to get married just so I can walk back down the aisle to this song:

Survey Says ...

2008-12-18T13:02:00.000-08:00

I'm subscribed to survey website which sends me surveys to fill out maybe once a week or once every two weeks. It does actually pay, but I qualify so infrequently for the demographics they look for, that I've completed only 3 or 4 full surveys over the last two years for a grand total of $20 in my pocket and some free facial cleansing cloths from what I assume was Dove (unlabeled, but the cloths looks exactly like the Dove ones I buy - score!).

I just finished filling out a survey for Bread X (anonymized because, while I don't remember the terms of service, I'm sure there's something in there about not divulging the survey contents). It was one of the strangest surveys I've taken.

The gist was the bread brand is trying to market directly to women and is feeling out the reaction to putting together a women centric website centered around healthy living. They want you to connect their bread with healthy living.

The survey went on to ask if buying Bread X correlated with some goals women have, like:

- Hiking the Pacific Something Trail
- Getting more fiber in their diet
- Learning how to swing dance
- Learning a new language
- Biking to work three days a week

Maybe I'm just dense, but honestly the only connection to bread I made was getting more fiber. A specific brand of bread doesn't so much correlate to the others (other than very cursorily as a possible part of a healthy diet). Not "I eat Bread X therefore I can learn how to swing dance!"

But here was the best part: one of the last questions was "Are big companies bad for society?", which you were to answer either strongly disagree, disagree, neutral, agree, or strongly agree. What?! I can't answer that question with one of those five choices. There are insane amounts of nuance to answering that question. What they really needed was an "it depends" option.

Ridiculousness

2008-11-16T19:15:00.000-08:00

I'm a huge fan of Craigslist. Huge with a capital H.

The free section, the furniture for sale that I could browse all day, the cool apartments I'll never be able to afford and the unintentional (though sometimes intentional) hilarity encapsulated in Missed Connections. But of all of these my favorite is the furniture. Awesome stuff for cheap always wins my heart.

Today I passed a consignment store and decided to stop in, thinking that it was just a physical manifestation of my beloved Furniture For Sale section, though probably much classier considering they had to pay rent and all. But oh no, my friends, the only similarities were the prevalence of scratches and stains on the furniture, sans deep discounts warranted by said scratches and stains.

Today, in the "classy" consignment store were two pieces of Ikea furniture. The first (in bright pink):

Brand New Retail Price: $49.99
Craigslist Used Price: $15-$20
Consignment Price: $49.00

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, a whole $.99 cheaper! But it's a deal because it's all worn in for you. None of that effort usually required to make it seem used and broken in.

Next up:

Brand New Retail Price: $39.99
Craigslist Price: $15
Consignment Price: $49.00

No, your eyes don't deceive you. That lovely, but obviously cheap, chair up there is being sold used for $9.01 more than it sells for brand spanking new.

So, if you're looking for a way to get some cash for random furniture laying around, even if that furniture is stuff you bought on the cheap at Ikea during college, take it on down to a consignment store and you'll get back even more than you originally paid for it.

Trains, Planes, and Automobiles

2008-10-29T09:32:00.001-07:00

I flew across the country last weekend to visit my ailing grandmother in South Carolina. It was a bittersweet few days full of decent air travel, awful sleep (partially in bathtubs), much missed family, and my only grandparent left feeling the onset of mortality and divvying up her life possessions.

I was gifted some things I really wanted, was barred from claiming other things I really wanted and spent an entire day sifting through old family photographs (including a couple sweet tintypes of relatives with long forgotten names).

The album I'll be putting together of all these photographs will also be bittersweet. They're my last name's family history, but not really mine. My dad was adopted so though I'm technically related to the people in the photos, they're not my ancestors. Someday, probably after my grandmother passes, I'll hunt down the blood relatives.

On the plane ride home I sat next to a guy who's initial words to me were "I don't let anyone I sit next to wear headphones" as I was pulling my iPod out. He turned out to be right. I didn't put those head phones on once the entire time we were in the air. It turned out that we knew a lot of the same people and his wife was best friends with my ex-step-sister and I had been to his father-in-law's church several times. I don't think I've ever talked the entirety of a plane ride before, but it was great - I barely noticed how long we were in the air.

We were supposed to look each other up on Facebook, but I've since forgotten his last name and his first is way too common to be of any use. I'll chalk him up to being a short-term friend, the kind you don't look up even though you say you will because attempting to extend the relationship beyond the short time you were brought together will just be awkward.

"You'd be surprised at the things I can do."

I owe someone $10

2008-09-25T12:02:00.000-07:00

Ok, so now I owe someone $10 on the "my boss won't do anything for my 2 year anniversary" bet I laid out in my previous post.

I knew exactly what I was getting 10 minutes ago, even though I received it 5 minutes ago.

Why? Because I process the business credit card transactions. About a year ago, my boss spent $50 at Starbucks (a store he never personally goes into). Also about a year ago, I received a $25 gift card. 10 minutes ago I heard him rummaging deep in his desk drawers.

Ta Da!

2 Year Anniversary gift: $25 Starbucks gift card - the other half of that year old Starbucks transaction.

I'm going to go buy myself a grande sugar-free hazelnut extra foam latte.

Random Thoughts by Jen Handy

2008-09-24T17:24:00.000-07:00

My parents have been separated since I was two and are both now remarried to great people. I often hope that my future spouse has divorced and remarried parents so we can have 4 sets of grandparents as potential FREE babysitters.

My mom says that she'll still be number one grandma, no matter how many extras there are to compete with.

_______________________

Tomorrow is my 2 Year Anniversary at my job. I was only supposed to be here for a year.

I bet anyone $10 that like both my birthday and Assistant's Day, my boss does absolutely nothing to recognize this.

_______________________

I was in three weddings this summer and I survived! It was a long, grueling pace of bridal showers, bachelorette parties, dress purchasings and fittings, shoe buying, hair and makeup be-doneing, rehearsal dinners and ceremonies. I love each person whose wedding I was honored to be a part of but am SO GLAD it's all over. Also, I will happily be a bridesmaid for my loved ones, but refuse to give any more speeches.

My introverted self was stressing out over all the necessary schmoozing and small talking with people I don't know.

_______________________

To end on a Debbie Downer note: my sole remaining grandmother (and the one I was actually close to) is being transferred from her apartment in a retirement center to assisted living. Stay strong geema!

These are a few of my favorite words:

2008-09-12T15:01:00.000-07:00

Indubitably
Sacrosanct
Juxtaposition
Rebuffed
Chiaroscuro

Not for their definitions; solely for the way they roll off the tongue.

Let Them Eat Cake!

2008-09-09T11:29:00.000-07:00

I love cake. Of course I do. I mean, who DOESN'T love cake? That's right: crazy people.

My most recent favorite was definitely Helen's wedding cake. Delicious layers of lemon cake with fresh raspberries sandwiched in between. Just look at this awesomeness:

But what if Helen hadn't hired a REAL professional, with references, and instead let her drunk aunt Mary who claimed to be a professional cake decorator provide her with a cake? It might have gone a little something like this:

Inspiration Cake -

ACTUAL Cake - (requested to be all white w/ green accents but otherwise like above)

Find more of these awesome cake disasters at my new favorite website: http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/

Raddest Weekend Ever

2008-07-28T10:54:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have a day or weekend that is just so freaking perfect it puts you on a natural high for days? My weekend was like that. Here's a run down:

Saturday Day: Step-mom's B-day

Saturday was my step-mom's 50th birthday, so my dad went all out on the planning. He rented a white limo and had my two step-sisters, two of my step-mom's friends, and me meet up in the parking lot of the restaurant we would be having dinner at. We all hopped into the limo, poured some champagne and surprised my step-mom at her house. From there all the girls went to lunch at an amazing mexican restaurant right on the coast with gorgeous ocean views and some free flowing pitchers of margaritas. From there we went shopping, which ended up kind of boring for me because I'm brizoke as a joke and we were in Bloomingdales. I couldn't afford anything even with the giant sale they had going. I made good friends with a comfy chair.

We then headed back down to the restaurant for dinner, which was amazing for everyone but me. Amazing because my dad had set up a private dinner in the kitchen of a very delicious restaurant, where the chef cooks in front of you, describes what he's doing, passes around things to taste while he's cooking and creates a four course meal. The whole experience was awesome.

The menu, on the other hand ... everyone who knows me knows that I am a pretty picky eater. I try not to be and I DO try new things, but once I decide that I don't like a food, I don't like it. A few of these big dislikes are: onions, tomatoes, bleu cheese, fish, and bananas. I know, it's a random assortment, but I have an unflinching hate for all of these foods. Now, here's the menu:

1st Course: layers of roasted eggplant, brie, and tomatoes with mixed greens (I had never really eaten eggplant before and it was pretty decent, but not a favorite)
2nd Course: mixed greens, red onion, candied walnuts, cucumbers, and bleu cheese in a vinaigrette (after picking out the onion, cucumbers and bleu cheese this was really good)
3rd Course: grilled halibut with honey mustard glaze, couscous, roasted asparagus and grilled zucchini tossed in garlic butter (I HATE fish, but I did eat the parts that had honey mustard glaze on it - I'm actually really proud of myself for that)
4th Course: bananas foster (I just at the ice cream and the delicious sugary glaze)

It was really just funny by the end. I made no comments and ate some of everything because it really did look delicious, but I was cracking up with each additional course.

Saturday Night: The Antiques
I'm not really sure how to describe my affiliation with this band anymore. Yea, I still do some work for the label and volunteering to work with them was how I met everyone, but everyone feels like genuine friends now. Not BFF friends, we don't get to hang out that often since everyone is pretty scattered, but friends I sincerely enjoy hanging out with. Yet, because of how I met them, I feel kind of obnoxious if I refer to it as a "friend's band", but I'm going to do it anyway.

So, that was a long way of saying that my friend's band was playing an album release show on Saturday night. They played the entire new album from beginning to end and, like usual if you stick around late enough, they broke into an awesome drunken encore. It was just a really great night of hanging out with some hilarious people and listening to some good music.

Sunday Night: John Mayer
Sunday day was pretty mellow - just went to Barnes and Noble, grabbed a hot chocolate and read a magazine (it's like the library, but more updated and with coffee!)

Sunday NIGHT, however, was The Awesome. John Mayer playing at Irvine Meadows (I refuse to call it Verizon Wireless, because that doesn't describe the venue at all). All 2 people who read this blog know how much I geek out on John Mayer, so I'm not going to hide it. I got a pretty good last minute ticket off of a girl on a Mayer messageboard for way under face value, since she was trying to get rid of it and it was just a single seat. First row of Loge. I'll take it.

I don't care what you say about Mayer's singles or his personal life, but the man can put on an INSANE live show and he definitely brought it out last night. There had been complaints earlier in the tour of short sets, but he took this one all the way to the 11pm Meadow's curfew, and possibly a few minutes beyond it depending on the watch. 18 songs, including TWO encores (which he never does. I was on my way out feeling comfortable in the knowledge that I had never heard of him doing a second encore when I realized that the cheering closer to the stage was getting louder instead of dying down and, sure enough, he had come back out for a second encore) AND a brand new song (which he also rarely does nowadays since he has an open taping policy, but dislikes that people's make judgments on a song based on first impressions of something not fully fleshed out ... or something like that. I'm not going to give you the whole quote even though I know it).

I'm still on a high from the show. I think live music can be addicting - I get such a rush from a good live show.

I wish every weekend could be as good as this one.

Good Hurt

2008-06-21T23:08:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have music hit you - like really hit you; when it feels like the song has managed to reach into your chest and pull your heart right out, not just tugging heartstrings, but completely breaking them, the force of the snap echoing through your limbs, and there it is thumping in front of you to the beat, all exposed and aching, but a good ache, a deep ache you can feel through your body all the way to your toes, and you don't want that feeling to end no matter how much it hurts, so you play the song on repeat, but then you have to take a break from it - maybe for an hour, a few days, a month - depending how just how deep it makes you ache, but you always go back to it, you just can't use it all the time or the ache fades and it's such a fucking good ache you can't bear to let it fade, so you ration yourself in order to guarantee that if you play that song the ache appears.

I love that.

Currently Obsessed - Ha Ha Tonka

2008-06-06T11:11:00.000-07:00

I stumbled across these guys on MySpace and I keep heading back to their page to listen to the four songs they have up. I haven't bought a CD in awhile, but I'm definitely snagging theirs.

Check out the video for my favorite song of the four:

Same But Different

2008-05-26T22:25:00.000-07:00

My ex boyfriend was in town this weekend. He moved out of state for his job about a year and a half ago, but I haven't seen him in about four years.

So much changes, yet so much stays ridiculously the same.

Other than the "so what have you been doing for the last however long it's been?", it was all very familiar. Too familiar.

I had grown comfortable with someone not being there and then BAM - someone's there again without the messiness and trial and error of learning a new someone. Except now he's in my headspace again and I worked freakin' hard to get him out of there - not an easy task considering he's an editor of a prominent magazine that my dad happens to subscribe to and has laying all over his house.

After dinner we just kind of hung out and cuddled while watching a movie. During that time we communicated more and were more open then we ever were when dating. He's several years older and we started dating when I was 19 - most of the the relationship seemed to have been a battle of who could care less - a battle I constantly lost. Things were said that should have been said a long time ago. It may be after the fact, but it's nice to know I was and have been in his head as much as he's been in mine. Now there's nothing left but a comfortable affection.

I realized that the set up I have with my pillows is just a poor man's attempt to get back there - to that comfiness and closeness.

When he left I said "see you in another four years." He protested and insisted that it won't be that long. It won't ... it will probably be longer.

Oh, and I drove a brand new Porsche 911 GT2. So I have that going for me.

Edited to add:

1) a whole bunch of extra stuff up there.
2) I originally posted this with about 1/3 of what's written above. I mentioned to a friend that I was debating posting something even that personal, but upon a re-read after publishing I realized it was hardly personal or intimate at all. I realized that my entire adult life, like I mentioned above in reference to my relationship, has been a battle of who could care less out some kind of an attempt to save my ego - a battle that I've generally won. Well, fuck that. This shit's getting more personal. You still may think that what's up there isn't that revealing, but I'm pretty uncomfortable posting it, so it's a hell of a lot more personal that my usual M.O. We'll see - I may jump back over my wall, but since blogging is apparently the new (free) therapist, I'll work at it.

"New" Music

2008-05-26T11:00:00.001-07:00

I have a 30 GB iPod that's completely full of music. I don't have photographs, TV shows, anything on there other than music.

In the grand scheme of things, that's not a huge amount of music, but I have a bunch of stuff on there that I have never heard. I have probably not listened to about 1/4 of what's stored on there.

So every once in awhile I put my little white bundle of awesome on shuffle and discover some "new" music.

So far today I've found a great David Grey song, a just okay Until June song, rediscovered an unreleased song from one of my favorite artists from back before he was even marginally known, and fell in love with a Damien Rice song I had only cursorily listened to before.

In fact, I think now I'm going to go listen to DR's whole 9 album ...

UPDATE: I love the song so much, I hunted it down on YouTube to share it. Enjoy:

Damien Rice - Elephant

The Little Men In My Head Take Lots of Breaks

2008-05-22T11:36:00.000-07:00

I was in the grocery store a couple days ago in the self check out line (which my introverted self LOVES because I don't have to interact with random people or give them an idea of what's going on in my life when I, say, buy chocolate cake and tampons). I was scanning and bagging my items efficiently until I came to a small bag on the bottom of my basket.

It was a fresh produce bag filled with about 10 small, round, green vegetables that I could not think of the name of for the life of me. I must have stared at these little bundles of deliciousness for a full minute, meanwhile scanning and bagging the rest of my groceries.

Finally it came down to just those little green things. I placed them on the scanner, scrolled through a menu of vegetables hoping to jog my memory, but nothing came. Finally I just rung them up as broccoli, hoping the price was similar, tossed them in a grocery bag, paid and left.

Two feet out of the door: BRUSSEL SPROUTS!

Damn, my memory is awful sometimes.

An Open Letter to a Douchebag

2008-05-20T09:22:00.000-07:00

Dear Douchebag:

Yesterday when I walked into our small apartment community gym and saw you sitting on one of the weight machines, the first thing I noticed was the large and prominent Bluetooth headset sticking out of your ear. I shrugged it off thinking "no way is this guy a big enough douchebag to actually use that thing in the small gym."

I, of course, woefully underestimated your douche level.

Two minutes into my workout you answered a call on your phone, quit your workout and sat on one of the machines, talking and laughing so loudly I could hear you very clearly over my IN EAR iPod headphones that were turned up as high as I could bear. Your loud, forcibly drawn out guffaws made it impossible for me to concentrate and ruined my rhythm and workout.

I waited for your phone call to end, stopped my workout and confronted you. Maybe you remember this exchange:

Me: "Could you please not talk on your phone in here? You're really loud and it's rude."
You: "I get phone calls all the time. I can't help it, it's what I do, you know. People are always calling me."
Me: "Next time someone calls please take it outside. You're really loud and rude."
You: "I can't help it. I get a lot of phone calls."
Me: "Then workout somewhere else! If you're living here I doubt you're important enough to need to take phone calls while you're in here."

It seems by some miracle you managed to not get a phone call for the next 20 minutes, but you DID grunt like you were birthing a baby on that weight machine and consistently let the weights slam down.

Next time I see you in the gym I will speak to management and have them ban the use of cell phones in the gym. Don't think I'm even remotely kidding.

I hate you,

Jen

Random Thoughts

2008-05-08T15:39:00.001-07:00

I love the smell of vitamins - I think it hearkans back to when my mom sold these vitamin pack things when I was a kid. The smell of a bottle of multivitamins just makes me a happy camper, despite the fact that I hardly ever remember to take them.

-------

If you are a server in a restaurant or cafe I frequent at least somewhat often, the quickest way to get me to not come back for awhile is to say "See you tomorrow!" Even though I know I'm fairly predictable, I don't like having it pointed out to me. My freshman year of college in Rhode Island I frequented this cute coffee/sandwich shop on my way to class. One day I forgot my debit card and the cashier said "Don't worry about it, you're in here pretty often, just pay next time." I went in the next day, paid for my drink plus the drink from the day before and didn't go back for two weeks. Hah! I showed them who's predictable!

-------

There is a major issue plaguing our nation that hasn't yet been addressed. It goes on in every office building across the nation and is a blight on the working landscape. I myself encounter this atrocity several times a day. No, it's not sexual harassment or even cancer causing asbestos, it's these:

Pastel and/or watercolor paintings of landscape, cottages or sailboats. They are the bane of every office existence. In their attempt to be mild and inoffensive they are the exact opposite. They offend and torture my eyes whenever I must pass one in the hallway. There are five (FIVE!!) of varying sizes in the bathroom alone (along with a hideous branch wreath with awful silk flowers poked indiscriminately around its circumference). They make me angry and I have to purposely avoid them with my eyes.

Who likes these paintings?! Who spends their days thinking up and actually creating these monstrosities?! It must be a blind person. There's no way any sane person with fully functioning eyes could find these pleasing or pretty.

Ok, ok, they do have ONE thing going for them - they're marginally better to look at than this:

Work It

2008-05-05T18:00:00.000-07:00

I've spent the last two hours going through my music and putting together a new workout playlist because I'm bored with the old one and I came to one conclusion: I have too much flippin' music.

Two hours and I'm only to K. Ridonkulous!

Anyway, I thought I'd share my findings with you. Songs have been picked based entirely on their level of Move-It-icity. Move-It-icity is entirely subjective, so you may not find these songs as workout worthy.

Try Again - Aaliyah
If You Want Blood (You've Got It) - AC/DC
This Is Your Night - Amber
Satisfied Alibis - The Antiques
Keep The Car Running - Arcade Fire
Intervention - Arcade Fire
I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor - Arctic Monkeys
Your Time Has Come - Audioslave
Taking Care of Business - Bachman Turner Overdrive
The General Specific - Band of Horses
Pump It - Black Eyed Peas
Closer to Free - Bodeans
Honest Mistake - The Bravery
Toxic - Britney Spears
Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand
Creepin Up The Backstairs - The Fratellis
Gone Daddy Gone - Gnarls Barkley
If - Janet Jackson
Points of Authority/99 Problems/One Step Closer - Jay-Z/Linkin Park
Let's Get Loud - Jennifer Lopez
A Praise Chorus - Jimmy Eat World
Don't Stop Believing - Journey
Rock Your Body - Justin Timberlake
Back That Thang Up - Juvenile
Golddigger - Kanye West
Touch The Sky - Kanye West
Bombs Over Baghdad - Outkast (this one was in there before I even started with A's)

I'm not sure if this list reveals anything about me other than I put up (and possibly enjoy - I won't admit more than that) with music I wouldn't normally listen to if it is either high energy pop or angry, beat-driven rap.

I'm It.

2008-04-23T17:17:00.000-07:00

So, I got tagged by my roommate, who was tagged by our mutual buddy Faithsalutes. Normally I ignore taggings under my stringent "Chain Mail Hate" standards, but since I'm bored and didn't get anything for Administrative Professionals Day despite my boss pimping it all over the calendar and to our clients, I'll do it.

The Rules:

* link to the person that tagged you
* post the rules on your blog
* share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself
* tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs
* let each random person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog

Here they are:

1) My normal body temperature is 97.5F, not 98.7F.

2) As a kid I hated all red foods because I thought they were spicy. Yes, this even included strawberries/watermelon/tomatoes/red apples/etc. This still generally carries over in my food preferences in that I prefer green apples to red, will pick pimientos out of green olives, and hate cherries, but I will eat strawberries and watermelon and non-chunky tomato sauce.

3) I absentmindedly twirl my hair when I'm tired.

4) I only clean when no one's home (i.e., when my roommate leaves for more than a day). I'll do minor cleaning otherwise, but I scrub the house top to bottom when no one's around for awhile.

5) This has tamed a bit, but I must look at my food before I eat it. I usually eat around the outside of all types of sandwiches, leaving the middle (best) for last and while doing this I strategize where the next tastiest bite will be.

6) I've already written about this, but I won't walk in sandals on wet concrete. You can see the full reason here.

Tagging:

Uhm, I don't know anyone who blogs that hasn't already been tagged, so this branch ends with me. Oooohh, the power! It makes me drunk!

2008-04-21T18:44:00.000-07:00

I recently applied to law school and am now at about week 7 of a 4-6 week response period from when my applications were received. I've been in limbo regarding the trajectory of the next three years of my life and it's been driving me nuts.

I have even been known to recently utter the sentence "I can handle being rejected, I just want to KNOW."

That's a total lie.

Being rejected fucking sucks.

It doesn't matter if you want it just a little or a whole freaking lot, to have someone else decide that you're not good enough is always a punch in the gut and one that I haven't learned to weather well.

The current tally: 1 maybe, 3 no's, 3 dunno's

I always try to be the rejecter in an effort to save my own ego (yes, I know this is generally pretty sucky of me, but at least I admit it), so not having any power over this process is really getting to me.

Eff this ish.

Mondays

2008-04-21T10:05:00.000-07:00

Now that I work full time I feel like I identify with this cartoon and that makes me more sad than you will ever know.

Rules to Live By; First Edition

2008-04-18T13:55:00.001-07:00

Music to Reminisce By

2008-04-11T23:14:00.001-07:00

I love pulling out old albums I haven't listened to in years and giving them a re-listen. These are invariably albums I was obsessed with, because I didn't buy any albums I only superficially liked (okay, that's kind of a lie because I own Chumbawamba's album Tubthumper, for which there's no excuse other than what must have been some spare cash burning a hole in my pocket).

I just adore the rush of emotion an old, beloved album brings when played. At the moment I'm listening to Matchbox 20's Yourself Or Someone Like You. I bought it in junior high but never took it out of my CD player in the early years of high school. It was so deliciously emo before emo was cool. I recall sitting in front of my dad's huge speakers in our living room in the few hours between when I got out of school and my parents returned home, listening to that CD on repeat and singing along at the top of my lungs with all the conviction I could muster out of my limited life experience. The whole album reminds me of my freshman year of high school - my favorite of the four - meeting new best friends, having crushes that were flirted around but never materialized to anything, insane amounts of access and freedom courtesy of becoming best friends with someone two grades older who could drive and had a car.

And yesterday I was listening to Frou Frou's Details, an album that has the ability to seemingly physically transport me to my first year college apartment. I wouldn't say that I was obsessed with this album, but I listened to it enough that it was the soundtrack to some of my favorite moments from that year - rekindling an old friendship, drinking enough to wonder why my liver stayed in such an abusive relationship, the excitement and difficulty of living on my own for the first time ... I can still picture exactly where I kept the album on my desk.

This has made me realize that I remember my life in album form - I hardly ever just think of individual moments, as great as they might be, they always come in a context of other moments, both good and bad, put together into an experience of a time period - freshman year of high school, first year at college, my last semester before transferring - they aren't specific instances, but rather a collage of moments put together to make a whole, much like, for the really talented artist, a whole album is greater than it's individual songs.

Back To The Future

2008-04-07T17:00:00.000-07:00

This is a survey. You probably hate reading surveys, but I don't care. It's my blog.

Why don't I care? Because today is a sad day and I'd rather update with a mindless survey than have to put in even the minimal effort a real blog post takes.

Why is it a sad day? 1) Because my roommate hacked her germs all over the apartment this weekend and I can already feel the delicious post-nasal drip irritation that precludes a bad one; and 2) John Mayer tickets go on pre-sale on Thursday and my broke ass can't buy them. If I was an emoticon kind of girl there'd be a huge sad face right about here --> (but I'm not, so there isn't).

HOW MUCH HAVE YOU CHANGED IN 8 YEARS????
Eight years ago ( April 2000 )

1) How old were you? 16

2) Where did you go to school? Dana Hills High School

3) Where did you work? JC Beans

4) Where did you live? With my parents

5) Where did you hang out? Laura's, Vanessa's, the coffeeshop, the mall, and Fridays at Peppino's.

6) Did you wear contacts? Nope

7) Who was your best friends? Laura and Vanessa

8) How many tattoos did you have? None

9) How many piercings did you have? One in each ear

10) Did you drive a car? yes

11) Had you been to a real party? Yep, a real live party full of college aged people.

12) Had you had your heart broken? Nope

13) Were you Single/Taken/Married/Divorce? Single

14) Any Kids? Nope

***4 years ago(Let's do .... October 2004)***

1) How old were you? 21

2) Where did you go to school? UCLA

3) Where did you work? On homework

4) Where did you live? In an apartment in Westwood

5)Where did you hang out? My apartment, around Westwood, Casa de Republicana, Robyn's dorm, Ashley's dorm

6) Did you wear glasses? Nope

7) Who were your best friend(s)? Robyn, Ashley and Jamie

8) How many tattoos did you have? 0

9) How many piercings did you have? one in each ear

10) What car did you drive? A 2003 Jetta

11) Had your heart broken? In some sense of the word

12) Were you Single/Taken/Married/Divorced? Single

13) Any Kids? nope

***Today/2008***

1) How old are you? 24

2) Where do you work? At a law firm

3) Where do you live? In Orange County

4) Do you wear glasses? Nope

5) Who is/are your closest friend(s)? Helen, Robyn, Steph, Jake, Rory and Mike

6) Do you talk to your old friends? Some of them, but the number gets lower as the years go by

7) How many piercings do you have? Still just the ears

8) How many tattoos? Still none

9) What kind of car do you have? 2003 VW Jetta

10) Has your heart been broken? In some sense of the word

11) Single/taken/married/divorced? ALWAYS SINGLE (sheeit)

12) Any Children? Nope, thank Lordy.

Fresh Girl of Orange County

2008-03-28T15:11:00.000-07:00

So I've been thinking a lot about fresh, unprocessed foods and the reality of my being wholly unable to cook more than chicken, rice and veggies without an elaborate recipe and how my dinner usually consists of take out or said Foreman grilled chicken, rice from a box and green beans out of a can.

No more, my friends!

Starting April 1 (but not as a joke) I'm going to try a month of unprocessed food. Meaning no fast food, no box rice (even that delicious Zatarain's Red Beans & Rice), no prepared pasta (I'm totally going to try and make some of my own) - basically I'm going to shop solely in the outside edges of the store - fresh fruit and veggies, dairy, cheese and meat.

The only cheat I'm giving myself is condiments and bread, because it's simply not realistic for me to make my own BBQ sauce or bread. That's just not happening. Oh, and beer. I'd give it up for the month, but there's going to be a big party about 5 days into it that I'm not going to sit out on.

Since I'm generally a pretty big procrastinator it'll be interesting to see if I can manage to make it the entire month, but gosh dangit I'm going to try (and though I'm pretty positive my roommate will mock me for starting this, she'll mock me even more if I quit.)

Want It

2008-03-27T14:24:00.001-07:00

I want this sweater something fierce. Wonder Woman was my GIRL when I was a kid.

Unfortunately, it's a one off made by a clever and talented girl and to own it myself I'd have to make it. Based on my previous stint with scarf knitting (evidence of which amounts to only about 1/8 of an actual scarf) this will never happen. Sad face.

If you're more dedicated than I am, you can find the how to here.

Boy Crush

2008-03-24T17:13:00.001-07:00

Uh, can someone please tell me when Joseph Gordon-Levitt went from boyishly cute guy from 3rd Rock from the Sun and 10 Things I Hate About You to HOT? Because I'm totally digging him in these pics, even if he is shorter than me.

More pictures here: ONTD

Girl Crush

2008-03-24T11:01:00.000-07:00

Girl Crush is defined by Urban Dictionary as:

feelings of admiration and adoration which a girl has for another girl, without wanting to shag said girl. a nonsexual attraction, usually based on veneration at some level.

Girl Crush is defined by me as:

Man, I would love to be friends with her.

I've had various girl crushes on celebrities - Natalie Portman, Mandy Moore - but this weekend I totally developed a girl crush on a real live person I actually kind of know.

I was at my parent's friend's house for Easter brunch, hanging out at the counter in the kitchen eating some delicious eggs benedict, sipping mimosas, stealing way too much of the cheese from the platter directly in front of me, and chatting with some friends when the girl who was soon to become my girl crush sat down wearing the cutest belted navy shirt dress ever.

We were chatting in the group when it came out that she does acting/directing/producing of mostly indie comedy stuff. We started talking about random TV shows we love (Arrested Development), the success of YouTube and its role in the increasing democratization of entertainment media and its parallel for music in MySpace, how the expanding ability to produce quality entertainment on a small budget has allowed comedy to be more organic, less forced, and therefore funnier (okay, by now it was pretty much just me and her talking), how flippin' adorable Jeremy Piven's niece was in The Landlord, and how cool my musical montage idea is (no, for real, she loved it).

By the end of the conversation I felt like I had known her for years - when something funny was said by a third party we glanced at each other to share the humor - and maybe it was because she claimed to really dig my idea and I'm self-centered enough to think a person is awesome because they think I'm awesome, it's more likely that she was just all around a very cool person. Unfortunately, despite how much I would love to be friends with her, I am absolutely awful at broaching the subject of exchanging info to hang out in the future. I blame it on the California mentality of saying "let's hang out soon!" with no intention of ever following up.

I think I'm going to talk my mom into getting her email from our family friend for me...

Happy Easter Weekend!

2008-03-21T20:44:00.001-07:00

Pictures

2008-03-21T15:48:00.000-07:00

I was looking through some old pictures on my hard drive and I came across this:

This was my room in college. Seriously, how ridiculously sweet was this room? I had a fireplace, a balcony, a TON of natural light, a couch, a coffeetable... The only downsides were my teensy closet and the fact that the kitchen was on the other side of the wall behind my bed.

Other than that it rocked hardcore and I kinda want it back.

Personal Preferences

2008-03-20T10:33:00.000-07:00

I know I have some interesting (some would say strange) habits and preferences. For example: I don't like peaches because the fuzz weirds me out, I think baked fruit is gross (fruit is NOT supposed to be warm), and I've had an aversion to red foods since I was a kid and thought all red foods were spicy (I have since come around to eating strawberries, watermelon and cooked tomatoes; raw tomatoes, cherries and pimentos are still on my shit list, though).

My biggest aversion, and the one I think is most justified, is my inability to walk on wet concrete in sandals. I know this is ridiculously specific, but considering how often I wear sandals it's an issue that comes up pretty frequently. I'm also often caught off guard by the weather - it doesn't rain often enough in Southern California to warrant being proactive on this front. Here's why it's completely justified and you people should STOP MAKING FUN OF ME.

List of all major injuries I've had:

- broken left wrist
- broken left ankle
- sprained left ankle (3x)
- fractured left kneecap
- torn meniscus on right knee

Aside from the fact that I obviously really dislike the left side of my body, EVERY SINGLE ONE of those injuries other than the meniscus was due to slipping on wet ground while wearing sandals. The highlights:

Wrist: 1st grade - broken while playing tag just after it stopped raining. Slipped on the ground and skidded into a curb. (Cute side note: despite intense pain I didn't cry until I saw my mom; to this day my mom's the only one I break down in front of)

Ankle: 2004 - slid on wet stairs at the San Diego Zoo while doing research for an anthropology class. I had just finished telling my friend not to jump down the stairs because she'll fall and break her ankle. Two seconds later I (the one holding the hand rail and walking slowly because I was wearing sandals that day) slipped and broke my ankle. Oh, the irony.

Kneecap: 2006 - Slipped on wet tile in UCLA's Ackerman Student Union and came down directly on my kneecap, which swelled to the size of a baseball. Once the lovely people in the Ashe Student Health Center found out this happened on campus (which could be held liable if I was a sue-happy type of person) I received the most prompt and attentive care they were capable of (considering the typical pace is about a week wait to be seen for the flu, which would be over by the time the appointment came around, it was quite speedy).

This issue is so gripping that once in college, when caught on campus in the rain whilst wearing sandals and after realizing I couldn't wait it out, I bought a pair of bright pink Converse (that I couldn't afford) so I'd be able to walk home. The next day I brought those shoes back to campus and stuck them in the locker I had rented in the gym so I would never be stuck on campus in sandals again. Of course, I never needed them, but they were always there as a safety.

Currently Perusing

2008-03-14T13:40:00.000-07:00

Did you know that "perusing" means "reading carefully with intent to remember?"

It's okay if you didn't - I think there's a healthy chunk of English speaking people who use it incorrectly, who use it to mean "halfheartedly flipping through" when it actually means the exact opposite.

So, I've been perusing (correct definition) the above book - I Know This Much Is True by Wally Lamb. Please ignore the giant "Oprah's Book Club" stamped on the front, because it's definitely not why I picked the 920+ page book up.

I first became familiar with Wally Lamb waaaaay back in junior high, when I convinced my mom to buy me She's Come Undone at Costco. I can still remember the moment - I was flipping through the book section and came upon a paperback She's Come Undone, started reading the first few pages and was hooked. But there was a problem - the copious amount of swear words uttered by the embattled young heroine, Delores Price, would never pass the Mom Censor (tm). It took me several minutes to find a single page without a swear word or other inappropriate reference that would have alerted my mother that it wasn't a book she should buy her 13 year old daughter. I succeeded, though, and walked out of Costco with my contraband clutched to my chest for fear my mother might take a second look at a page I hadn't carefully picked.

I took it home and read it cover to cover (without going around the back) in two summer days. I had tried for one, but had been physically unable to keep my eyes open past 3 a.m. Barely 50 pages into the book it became glaringly obvious that it was not a book I should have been reading at that age and I delighted in the maturity of it. I didn't hear a peer reference reading the book until my senior year of high school, certainly a more appropriate age. Even at that moment, I was excited that I had read the book 5 years earlier.

Ok, off She's Come Undone - the gist is that the book made me love Wally Lamb's writing, his ability to create these intricate, often unlikeable characters whom you couldn't help but root for. That's why I picked up the gigantic I Know This Much Is True.

So far it hasn't disappointed. It's a story of twin brothers, Dominick and Thomas Birdsey, one of whom suffers from schizophrenia. It covers the boys childhood under the abusive hands of an overbearing step-father and a meek, weak, and also abused mother. It's told through the voice of the sane brother, Dominick, who has spent his entire life standing as his brother's protector, sometimes giving up the role, sometimes being crushed under its weight, and always bitter over the toll and effect its had on his own life.

I think I've really identified with Dominick and his relationship with his brother. I have a mentally handicapped brother who, while very high functioning - certainly MUCH higher than Thomas Birdsey and not in any way crazy, is still someone I've spent and will spend my entire life protecting. Someone who, once my parents pass away, will be my responsibility to take care of and look after.

When I was younger, and decidedly more selfish, I was bitter about it. Bitter that I spent my childhood defending my brother against the bullies on our street instead of making friends; bitter that I didn't have the ideal older brother who was protective and had cute friends; bitter that I had to assume the "oldest child" caretaker role.

At the point I am in the book, Dominick Birdsey has given up and left his brother to the care of a psychiatric ward. I hope by the end he comes around to where I'm at now because, similar to his brother Thomas, my brother is one of the kindest, most caring and genuine people I've ever met and despite the difficulties we may have and the number of times we butt heads, he's my brother and I love him unconditionally and will always be there to take care of him, because I know he wouldn't hesitate to do the same if the roles were reversed. If Dominick doesn't come around, I'll have to dislike a character I've really grown to enjoy and he'll end up a mediocre man in difficult circumstances. Perhaps that's the character Lamb intended to create, but based on the redemption of Dolores Price by the end of her story, I have a feeling that's not the direction Dominick is heading. I look forward to discovering his resolution.

I'm An Idea (Wo)Man

2008-03-02T21:21:00.000-08:00

I get all my best ideas when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep. There are no exceptions to this rule. I am rarely very clever in daylight hours or while standing or sitting. It just doesn't happen. There's something about laying down in a dark room at the end of a long day that brings them forth.

Of course, as I've previously covered, I also suffer from insomnia. It doesn't help that my best ideas often come when I'm struggling to get to sleep. In my attempts to just. get. some.zzzzzzzz, I'll often refuse to turn on a light and write down what I was thinking, which, of course, results in many, many lost great ideas.

But here's one I didn't lose - it's going to be so awesome:

A romantic movie short made entirely of musical montages in four acts:

1. Meet and Fall In Love
2. Break Up
3. Lonely Walk Through The Park
4. Happily Ever After

I know, I know, but I never said it wasn't going to be cheesy or cliche - it's a movie made entirely of musical montages for fuck's sake.

Each montage is going to be set to a different song off of this album:

Band of Horses - Cease to Begin

It's the perfect album for this project, it's wrought with the entire spectrum of emotion. Dare I say it could be the entire soundtrack to a full length movie ... yes, I do dare.

I really only have two of the sequences mapped out in my head: The Breakup and Lonely Walk Through the Park. Both are pretty intricate single camera moves. The Breakup involves a second story apartment on Manhattan's Upper East Side and the camera moves a full 360 rotation around the building, breaking the outside wall. Seriously, this lame ass description does this no justice. It looks AWESOME in my head. As usual, the trick is getting it out of there. After describing it to a camera guy friend, he said it would involve a sound stage painted with tons of green screen, computer mapped out camera movement so the outside of the building could be painted in, and quite a bit of CGI, which altogether will run me about $75k.

Lonely Walk Through the Park is also a complicated single camera move, but he figures it could be done for a cool $10k if we waited for weather instead of making our own (oh yes, there are season changes! Living on the west coast where there are none has made me obsessed).

Sooo ... it's looking like the whole she-bang is going to cost at least a crisp $100k. Who wants to be my backer?

Restroom Etiquette

2008-02-25T11:41:00.000-08:00

Restroom etiquette is a subject near and dear to my heart. Yes, I know it's kind of an odd subject to be passionate about, but too often people are ignorant of proper bathroom behavior.

Here's the layout of the restroom at my office (courtesy of MS Paint):

I've taken the liberty to label the stalls in order of proper use. Here are the required restroom etiquette rules:

- No. 1 is the restroom closest to the sinks. It is to be used first in deference to any possible handicap person that may need to use the large stall (if you prefer to disregard the needs of the handicapable of our society, feel free to switch numbers 1 and 2). Using restroom No. 1 first allows the next person to have a one-stall barrier between themselves and you. THIS IS ALWAYS PREFERABLE. I cannot stress that enough. Whenever possible, have a one-stall buffer between yourself and anyone else.

- NEVER USE THE MIDDLE STALL FIRST. This is also a must. If you enter the middle stall first, you require the next person in the restroom to use a stall next to you, instead of having the option to have a one-stall barrier. It is very rude to take the middle stall first.

- NEVER TALK TO ANYONE. This rule is slightly breakable if you are very good friends with the other person in the restroom, but it's only to be broken if you are the only people in the restroom. Otherwise, you may say a quick hello if you happen to wash hands at the same time.

Here is how a recent restroom experience broke all those rules:

I walked into the restroom slightly before another woman who works in another office in our building. She said hi and I greeted her back, then moved to enter Stall No. 1. She then asked me how I was doing. I said a quick "pretty well" before closing the stall door. She then entered Stall No. 3, completely disregarding bathroom etiquette rules of at least a one-stall buffer whenever possible. She then continued to talk to me while we were both in stalls! I don't even know how people think this is appropriate. I don't know her, I don't care about her day, especially not enough to discuss it while doing personal business. She continued to talk until we both parted ways in the hallway to our respective offices. She broke all the rules and is forever on my "Do Not Like" list. Avoid copying her horrible manners and, though I can't guarantee you won't make the list for another reason, you at least won't make it due to bad restroom etiquette.

Next week I will give you a primer on proper parking. See you then!

Nom Nom Nom

2008-02-12T17:26:00.000-08:00

Hi, my name is Jen and I used to be addicted to caffeine.

I started working in a coffee shop at the ripe young age of 15. When you're a teenager and forced to be to work at 5 a.m. when you've likely only gotten home a few hours earlier, caffeine becomes your best friend. The moment I walked into work I would pour a cup of (free) coffee and end up sucking down many, many more by the time my shift ended.

This addiction ran strong until a couple months ago. At that point I was sucking down a 16 oz Sugar Free RedBull every morning on my way to work, then drinking Diet Coke with lunch and often dinner. It tasted of deliciousness.

I was also sleeping very, very poorly. Despite my love of sleep, I've never been a great sleeper - I awaken several times, toss and turn throughout the night in search of the cool side of the pillow, and stick my foot in and out from under the covers in an attempt to regulate temperature. The caffeine throughout the day definitely only exacerbated this rough sleep issue.

So a few months ago I decided to cut down and out. I won't lie - I still drink it at least once a week, but I'm doing my best to stop having any caffeine after 4 p.m. and I no longer drink RedBull on my way to work. Typically it's a soda with lunch, but now that I'm brown bagging instead of buying, I rarely bring a soda with me and have switched to water.

Now I'm drinking vats of water - so much water that I feel like I'm jumping up to the bathroom once an hour. In fact, I just stopped writing to go right now (TMI?).

I've noticed slow progress on my sleeping. I'm actually falling asleep earlier.

Who knew Faith was right?

I Stand Corrected

2008-02-12T11:29:00.000-08:00

Vampire Weekend is my new music obsession. I seriously cannot get enough of their self-titled album.

It's fun, it's quirky, it has a fucking HARPSICHORD.

From what I've read, they're four ex-Columbia kids (the Ivy League university, not the country [which would be Colombia]) who spice up their east coast prep-school style with Afro-pop influences that's most obvious in the heavy rhythm and drum beats.

Here's an excellent review on Pitchfork.

Vampire Weekend come along like Belle & Sebastian and the Strokes each did, sounding refreshingly laidback and uncomplicated, and with simple set-ups that make good songs sound exceedingly easy. (The result being not "this is mind-blowing," or "this is catchy," but "I have listened to this, straight through, four times a day for the past month".)(emphasis mine)

The bolded portion is entirely accurate - from the moment I got this album I've listened to it non-stop all the way through. It helps that the songs are relatively short, but they're exceedingly catchy and lively - a pleasure to the ear that is almost addicting. You don't want to put it away because it's so spirit raising and infectiously happy.

Bring any baggage you want to this record, and it still returns nothing but warm, airy, low-gimmick pop, peppy, clever, and yes, unpretentious-- four guys who listened to some Afro-pop records, picked up a few nice ideas, and then set about making one of the most refreshing and replayable indie records in recent years.

Mostly this album makes me want to go sailing on a warm day between Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket with my preppy dog and a grosgrain ribbon in my hair while smirking at how pretentious it all is.

Too Cute - Might Faint

2008-02-11T11:24:00.001-08:00

I've never really been a dog person. Sure, I enjoy other people's dogs, but I really dislike slobber. That wet, slimy, slick covering over everything that gets within a foot of their mouths ... -shudder-.

Which is why it's odd that I really, really want a Newfie. Unfortunately, they are also the king of the slobbering breeds - hence I will never get a Newfie.

But I might get a little dog just so I can dress them in this collection. How flippin' adorable is that red and white striped sweater?

The Real Capt. Awesome

2008-02-09T01:31:00.000-08:00

I Could Do This All Day

2008-01-30T12:51:00.000-08:00

I stumbled across this challenge. I could seriously sit here all day doing this.

1. Go to the Wikipedia random article page. Whatever the title of the article is, that��s your band name.

2. Check out random quotations. Go to the very last quote on the page. The last four words of that last quote are your album title.

3. Hit up Flickr��s ��interesting photos from the last seven days�� section. The third picture on the page, no matter what it is, is your album cover.

4. Use Photoshop to combine all these things into something coherent looking. If you don't have photoshop (like me) - MS Paint works pretty well.

Here are my albums:

Gunters Mountain - Hurts the First Time: very, very emo. Songs are without exception about very recent painful breakups or how their father didn't understand that they prefer eyeliner over footballs.

One Dimensional Man - Has Any Survival Value: Cali beach rock - lead singer is tall, gangly man. All with long hair that hasn't been combed in a month, with the exception of the bass player who has stick straight black hair. Has a decent local following, but will never make it out of San Diego.

Potirendaba - by a simple smile: goofy, experimental indie rock. Endlessly amused with themselves that they worked "pot" into their band name.

Runners up:
Whitehorse Star - Another Form of Duty
Levitate - Law of Personal Growth
Frank Ball - Lives We Might Like

Rock It Hardcore

2008-01-28T15:25:00.000-08:00

I was supposed to help my mom and step-dad move into their revitalized home this weekend. Unfortunately, as apparently all things involving contractors, construction, and houses go, it's not finished on time and got pushed back to next weekend, to the chagrin of my roommate*. So, now that carpet is going in at the end of this week and they move in next weekend, I was invited down for this:

(Poster designed by the lovely Emily Neveau of Calico Horse)

I do random stuff for Calico's record label. I've had a chance to hang out with the everyone several times and they're a really rad bunch (even this guy, who ruins movies and lies a lot) who make me laugh almost non-stop (with the exception of watching depressing documentaries - again the fault of movie ruiner up there).

But that's not really the point of this post.

The point is that I also saw MGMT - who put out what is my new favorite record:

They also put on a seriously awesome live show. With vocals eerily similar to beloved rocker Jack White, tone straight outta ArcadeFire-ville, and energy + chops to convincingly pull it off as their own sound, they put on my favorite set of the year thus far (even if it is only 28 days old).

The similarity to White and AF really struck me while watching them, because it's a sound I didn't initially hear in their studio album. On second and third listen, though - it's definitely there, but their live set accentuated those features.

The album is more full of subtleties - the asian flute inspired opening phrase and bridge of Electric Feel (the rest of which is more 80's synth), the organ build in Future Reflections and Time to Pretend, but out of the entire album, this is my favorite:

I love the distortion, the synth keys, the melody. Any song that can make me automatically start dancing in my chair is a winner in my book - and this song does it in spades. Love.

*Who has seriously been nothing but patient. I'm pretty sure the only reason she hasn't stabbed me in the middle of the night for my cat still being in the apartment is precisely because the cat is in my room and she'd die of allergic reaction in 2.5 seconds upon entering.

The Coolest Bird EVER

2008-01-14T22:36:00.000-08:00

Check out this guys moves. So sweet!

Say It Isn't So

2008-01-14T01:31:00.000-08:00

Can I be real with you?

Can I get down with you? Can we talk mano y mano (which, by the way, means "hand to hand", and not "man to man", although this case would be fingertips to eyeball, or possibly fingertips to voice text reader if a blind person happened to "read" my page [but, to be honest, that's not really the demographic I'm going for - sorry possible blind person])?

I turn 25 in 4 1/2 months and it's fuckin' flipping me out, man! Here's what I get at 25:

- Cheaper car insurance (awesome)
- The ability to rent cars without my parents co-signing (awesome)
- A $478 tax deduction if I'm single without children and make less than $12,750/year (awesome out of something not very awesome)
- TO BE A QUARTER OF A CENTURY OLD (not awesome)

Guess which one I'm focusing on? No, not renting cars, as awesome as that may be - it's the last one.

It means I no longer have any chance to be on one of those "Fabulous and Fierce Under 25" lists in a magazine. IT COULD HAVE HAPPENED, but not anymore. There's no way I can make the several million dollars it requires to make one of those lists in just 4 1/2 months (hmm ... lottery *mental note: start buying lottery tickets*).

25 is also the start of adulthood. Who the hell wants that? Why, oh, why couldn't I have been a successful pop star or actress at a young age so I could make the millions necessary to stunt my emotional growth at the age of whenever I was able to surround myself with yes men and thus be a teenager for life? I blame my parents for not signing me up for singing lessons.

So, this May 31st I will be celebrating the 4th Anniversary of my 21st birthday .... and you can't stop me!

Sleeeeeep

2008-01-11T15:49:00.000-08:00

I'm currently running on about 10 hours of sleep for the last four days. I randomly get insomnia that makes me want to shoot myself in the face. Basically, it works like this: I'm tired all day and want to crash as soon as I get home, but I know if I go to bed at 6:30 p.m., I'll just be awake at 4 a.m. with nothing to do with myself. If I do decide that I'm tired enough to crash at 6:30 p.m., I'll inevitably wake up 30 minutes later with a light nap under my belt and push back the likelihood of sleeping like a normal person that night even further.

If I decide to not go to sleep when I get home, I'll putz around, make dinner, watch some T.V., play some guitar hero, read my email, read a book, play solitaire on my iPod ... until 1 a.m., when I realize that I've now stayed up way too late. I head to bed, with the knowledge in my head that I can't get enough sleep even for THIS night, much less to catch up on the previous nights.

By the time my head hits the pillow the only thing in my brain is "sleep! Please, for the love of God, let me fall asleep tonight" - which of course is the one thing that makes me unable to sleep. As soon as I feel myself drifting I inevitably think "thank god, sleep's coming" which takes me back to consciousness and pushes sleep further away.

Sometimes, though, I make a compromise between crashing as soon as I get home and accidentally staying up way too late. Last night I attempted to go to bed at 9 p.m. - but was insanely unsuccessful. I think the last time I looked at the clock it was sometime after 1 a.m.

Insomnia - you're a bitch.

Top Twenty Two of 2007

2008-01-09T19:02:00.000-08:00

I meant to do this at the end of 2007, or at least within the first few days of 2008, but I've been busy and I got sick, so it's belated, but still valid. Here, in no particular order, are my twenty two favorite songs of 2007.

Why twenty two? Solely because I'm a big fan of alliteration. Why no particular order? Because I'm way too lazy/busy to argue with myself over which ones I like more - they're all awesome.

Oh, and check it - I even put together a nifty little playlist for you, so you can't be all "Oh man, that's a great list, but I'm way too lazy to go hunt down the songs on my own to listen to them." Now you have no excuses!

1. Silversun Pickups - Lazy Eye
2. Peter, Bjorn & John - Young Folks
3. The Shins - Phantom Limb
4. Arcade Fire - Intervention
5. Modest Mouse - Dashboard
6. Blonde Redhead - Spring and by Summer Fall
7. Boddicker - Pretty Baby (Part I)
8. Thom Yorke - Videotape
9. Paramore - Misery Business
10. Foo Fighters - The Pretender
11. Foo Fighters - Skin and Bones
12. Plain White T's - Hey There Delilah
13. The Killers - When You Were Young
14. The Fratellis - Flathead
15. Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars
16. Feist - 1234
17. Pepper - Give It Up
18. Mickey Avalon - Jane Fonda
19. Jimmy Eat World - Big Casino
20. Death Cab for Cutie - I Will Follow You Into the Dark
21. The Kooks - Naive
22. Ok Go - Here It Goes Again

This video is too awesome to not include with the song list.

Note: The people that know me well are probably confused that they reached 22 without a mention of John Mayer, but he didn't release anything in 2007, so nothing counts! Actually, that's not true, he released an acoustic EP of songs off his full length album, which I really like, but my favorite songs on the EP don't trump my favorite other songs of 2007 - plus, I couldn't find the acoustic versions for my playlist, so out they went.

Other People Are Funny

2008-01-09T16:50:00.000-08:00

If you live in this country, are alive, have at least basic cable and are under the age of 50 you have probably watched The Office - one of the funniest shows on television (along with Flight of the Conchords and the duo of The Daily Show and Colbert Report). If not, where have you been and why am I friends with you?

The lovely girl up there is Mindy Kaling, who writes for and plays Kelly Kapoor on the show - one of my absolute favorite characters. She has some of the best lines.

She also writes a blog (sporadically updated) on things she buys and loves. Of course, considering she's a writer and actor on an incredibly popular show she has WAY more disposable income than the average person and thus considers things like $150 dresses to be a steal, but she's pretty good at acknowledging the fact that she has a larger disposable income than most and is able to buy frivolous things, so I end up not minding that I can't afford a single thing she's ever blogged about. She's also seriously hilarious and I find myself being able to identify with her - can she please be my friend?

Go check her out, read the archives and giggle your butt off: Things I've Bought That I Love

Seriously?

2008-01-08T15:06:00.000-08:00

Is Jennifer Connolly - one of Hollywood's most gorgeous actresses - really supposed to look like this in what is presumably a ad put into, at least, nationwide circulation? Is that dress supposed to look like it's made from papier mache and impossible to sit down or breathe in?

Is this ad supposed to make me want to wear Balenciaga? Because right now all it does is make me feel itchy and restricted and possibly that wearing Balenciaga makes you need to wash your hair, get some fake bake and take some yoga to loosen up.

Image source: perezhilton.com

I <3 Dave Grohl

2008-01-08T09:58:00.000-08:00

Who doesn't, really? Liking Dave Grohl is one of my friendship requirements. You don't have to love him, but you can't hate the man. Why would you? He's an insanely talented musician from two wildly successful bands (you could argue that Kurt Cobain's suicide was actually good for Grohl - it got him out from behind a drum set and into front man position where he shines), yet isn't the least bit pretentious. I, obviously, don't know the man personally, but from what I've heard he's a genuinely nice guy, who's down to earth and loves to have fun.

This interview makes me like him even more: Dave Grohl's Principles for a Happy, Successful Life

My favorite part:

Anybody who has to focus on being real has a problem. It's like having a panic attack over how you're prone to panic attacks. Be a guy. Play music.

Oh, and this part was pretty good too:

I'm nearly 40. The last thing I want to do is wake up with a raging hangover and have to listen to Elmo songs with my daughter.

It's short, just read the whole thing then bask with me in Grohl love. -le sigh-

It's All Just Noise Anyway

2007-12-29T17:33:00.000-08:00

I started this post in my head with the thought that I had spoken just 6 words since I left the house this morning at 10:30 AM. I thought it was interesting that I could go about my day and have interactions with people without really saying anything.

And then, after reflecting on my day, I realized that I spoke 52 words today, which isn't a very interesting number. 52 words can contain quite a bit. 52 words can say everything - or, in my case today, absolutely nothing.

I'm no longer impressed with myself, but I realized that I attempt to impress myself. Such an odd thing to do, really - attempt to beat your own expectations of yourself. But if you are your own worst critic, which I am, then to impress yourself means that surely you can impress other people.

So, really, me thinking I had spoken only 6 words today was an attempt to impress myself with an observation that ultimately fell flat, in an attempt to impress you. Instead, I spoke 52 words and impressed no one. I typed 192 words to tell you I spoke 52 (206 including this sentence).

But I did see Juno, so I have that going for me.

Say What?

2007-12-28T21:58:00.001-08:00

There's a quote from the dad from the showOrange County Choppers that always cracks me up:

"What was was was, what is is is, and what is is right now."

It sounds so ridiculous and pseudo prophetic, but deep down, underneath its jumbled exterior, there's an honest sentiment. The past is the past, the present is the present and the present is reality. It's a silly, slightly incoherent reminder not to dwell on the past, but to live in the present.

Also, in the many "ifs" I'm constantly thinking about: if I ever put out two albums, the first would be titled "What Was" - because first albums are always about and informed by the entirety of your life up until that point - and the second would be "What Is" - because a second album is always, always informed by what's happened between putting out the first album and creating the second one, there's some going back, but the far past has been forever tweaked but the recent pasts influence on your paradigm.

Dig the Buzz

2007-12-27T18:01:00.000-08:00

This is something I wrote a couple months ago:

I fully admit that I am addicted to caffeine in the form of delicious Diet Coke. I can usually limit myself to one glass a day, but if I don't get it, I get pretty grumpy. I am also, until tomorrow, very poor. Hence, I have not had Diet Coke in three days. Three. whole. fucking. days. I finally had enough and, determined to buy some nectar of the gods, scrounged my house, purse, and car for any spare change. I came up with $1.71, an amount that would buy me a 2-liter of Diet Coke. As long as it was $1.50 on the shelf I would then have enough for 7.75% sales tax and about $0.09 of monetary wiggle room.

I strode into my grocer of choice, confident in the fact that I would be able to purchase my beloved God Juice and tame the thirst I had been ravaged with for three days. I plucked the bottle off the shelf and meandered over to the self check out aisle, scanned it, heard the joyous beep indicating it was almost mine, glanced at the total .... $1.72. I was ONE FUCKING PENNY too poor. It was certainly revenge from all those pennies I had left after dropping them, smug in the knowledge that they were basically worthless. I had completely forgotten about the $0.10 mandatory recycling tax, a.k.a. "Redemption Value." I hung my head, returned the bottle to the shelf and was positive I'd spend the rest of the day in bed, waiting for the clock to turn midnight and my paycheck to be deposited.

When I reached my car, a dejected, poor failure, I opened the door, certain I had searched everywhere for every last penny - there it was, gleaming and beautiful on the driver side floor mat - a solitary, shiny copper penny. $1.72.

The nectar of the gods is mine.

Say It With A Band

2007-12-26T22:42:00.000-08:00

I decided that if I ever started an emo band I'd call it:

(I was even motivated enough by this thought that I tested out fonts - this is totally the one I'd use if I ever started an emo band, called it Quoth the Raven and needed to find a good font to market said band with)

EDIT: Dangit - someone beat me to it: www.myspace.com/qtrtheband. At least they suck, have almost no friends, have only 45 second songs, AND their font is crap. My band would be so much better.

U-G-L-Y - You Ain't Got No Alibi

2007-12-26T17:51:00.000-08:00

I received one of these purses from my aunt and uncle for Christmas. I had requested a gift card of some sort, like usual, because my Southern California tastes rarely match their south of the Mason-Dixon tastes.

It's a faux Vera Bradley - the name of which I know solely because my grandmother gave me a whole big set of the real ones (duffle bag, makeup tote, purse and wristlet) for my high school graduation, which I promptly gave to my mom who hid them somewhere in storage and as I was recently strapped for cash, I was going to dig them out and ebay them. This spurned several minutes worth of research on exactly how much I could extrude from the average buyer.

I seriously just don't understand who could like these purses enough to pay $80. They're busy, the colors are garish, they're made of a soft cloth that just flops over and begs to get dirty - I see no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

Why do people like these? I guess if I can get an answer to that I can get an answer to who the hell buys these, these, and these.

Limpio Mi Casa

2007-12-22T15:41:00.000-08:00

I hate cleaning, with a passion. I was always kind of a spoiled kid in that my dad never made me clean, but mom would make my brother and I clean once a week, and I usually threw a tantrum every Saturday. I loathe scrubbing, making my hands moist and itchy from cleaning chemicals, sweeping, dusting ... all of it.

Obviously, I preferred to be at my dad's house on Saturday.

Now that I'm all grow'd up I still hate cleaning, but it's a necessary evil since I don't have the cash to hire a maid, but now I've added quirks to my cleaning. For instance, I don't clean when people are around - this probably stems from the fact that whenever I clean people express shock, which just annoys me. So, when my roommate leaves for anything more than two days I clean.

My roommate Helen left this morning, so I cleaned. I put on my Any Given Thursday DVD, cranked up the volume and got to work. Now the apartment is sparkling!

There really isn't a point to this post, I'm just proud of myself. I wish you could see the place.

Gooooooogle

2007-12-18T10:19:00.000-08:00

I am un-Google-able.

Oh, sure, if you google my name there are results that pop up that match it, but none of them are me. If they were me, however, I would be the following things:

- The Managing Director of a successful hedge fund (this would actually be awesome, I'd be RICH, biotch!)

- A librarian (not so awesome)

- In charge of Christian Action prayer circle at the annual Women's Walk 102 and Assistant Lay Director (heh heh) for Pioneer Country Emmaus

- The Attorney-In-Fact for a limited partnership (ooh, the power!)

- An 11 year old girl who did not finish a 200 meter dash and thus came in dead last (Sounds kind of familiar ...)

- Married in 1991 and live in Colorado (surprisingly, this woman looks very similar to my mom).

- Dead as of August 8, 2007 along with Sister Mary Magdalene.

Jokes and Jokes and Jokes

2007-12-16T00:19:00.000-08:00

My favorite joke:

Two guys are sitting in a bar at the top of a skyscraper. One guy turns to the other and says "Did you know that if you jump out the window, the architecture of this building creates a wind that will pull you back into the building at the 10th floor?"

The second guy says "There's no way that's true. That's physically impossible!"

The first guy says "It's true! I'll show you." He walks over to the window and jumps out.

He passes 15

14

13

12

11

And sure enough, at the 10th floor the winds grab him, pull him into an open window and he runs up the stairs

The second guy is just blown away. "That's an anomaly! There's no way that could happen twice!"

So the first guy jumps out the window again. He passes 15

14

13

12

11

and sure enough, at the 10th floor, the winds grab him and pull him in and he runs back up to the bar.

The second guy is astounded: "I have to try this for myself! This is just too freakin' incredible." So he jumps out the window and passes 15

14

13

12

11

10

9

8 ....

and so on until SPLAT, he hits the ground.

The bartender turns to the first guy and says "Superman, you're an ass when you're drunk!"

Boys Have Cooties and I Have Issues

2007-12-14T17:43:00.000-08:00

4:02 PM me:crikey, why are you idle?

4:04 PM Ok, then I'll talk to myself, but pretend you're there

Date guy (Sunday .. it's official) actually bought both The Antiques and Boddicker's album solely because I gushed about them

4:05 PM How cute is that? Although now i have to figure out someplace to meet up with him that has personality

also, luckily I got paid today so I get to go buy a new outfit

5:02 PM Girl: LOL

I love you so much

so he's letting you pick the place I see

me: well, he kind of has to - we're meeting in Newport and he wouldn't even know someplace to go in LA because he's new

5:05 PM Girl: ahhhh

Girl: but...dude....I'm like pissing my pants in hilarity over here after a phone call I just had

me: tell me

Girl: well I didn't start seeing Man to make Boy jealous AT ALL

me: of course not

Girl: but apparently that is what has transpired

5:07 PM Boy called out friend Chick last night seriously stressed out

wanting to see if she would go to the church christmas party with him since his friend and her boyfriend, Guy, is out of town

and he doesn't want to be alone since I am bringing Man

and he told her that he's so confused and had this crazy dream where I was naked! and beckoning him

5:08 PM and I know Boy and how vivid his dreams can be and how serious he takes them

and for him to tell Chick that...LOL OMG pissing pants

5:09 PM she said he sounded really unhappy and jealous and stressed

and I say "fuck yeah, you should feel that way"

5:10 PM and then you [Boy] should look in the mirror and realize you did that entirely to yourself and had every opportunity in the world to get me back

and you [Boy] are just a dumbass

take some tips from your latin brother here on how to adore a woman

5:11 PM :end rant:

5:12 PM oh yeah, and he changed his mood on myspace from content to confused

hahahahahaha

5:19 PM me: lol - he totally deserves it

Girl: it sucks because I still completely love the guy

but seriously...it shouldn't take me getting a boyfriend for him to get his head out of his ass

5:25 PM Girl: I

I'm so excited for your date

you better give me details

5:26 PM me: meh, that's usually what happens. When you were single you were still available - sometimes it takes total loss of something to realize how much we valued it

Girl: yeah

I hear that

but seriously....the kid had every chance in the freaking world to get me back

5:27 PM I mean I was still professing feelings for him up until like 2 weeks ago when I told him I didn't want or need him as a friend

me: which is why he totally deserves what he's getting now

it's so childlike to expect to throw away something and then have it still be there when you decide you want it

the only thing that works like that are parents

when you're 5

5:28 PM And I'll tell you about the date, haha - I think he's more excited than I am, but that's entirely because I'm cynical and afraid of rejection and won't let myself get worked up over it

Girl: yeah...

me: but at least I know what my issues are!

5:29 PM Girl: which is so much of the battle, my friend :-P

me: it's cute, he laughs if he trips over a word he's saying or it takes him a moment to get it out

5:30 PM Girl: hehe

me: which, really, will only be cute if it doesn't continue indefinitely

5:31 PM I'm awful - already finding things to dislike. What the eff is wrong with me?

5:32 PM Girl: awww...come on...those little quirks can be extremely endearing

me: I know, I think I just have to see him again

Funnay

2007-12-14T14:12:00.000-08:00

This shit is FUNNY. Especially if you're even slightly emo. Check out the full series here.

I wish I Was A Little Bit Taller

2007-12-12T23:21:00.000-08:00

Christmas season is wishing season! I just gave a whole list of wishes to my parents the other day. It's the best kind of wishing too. None of that lame ass birthday wishing where you have to keep it a secret to make it come true. These kind of wishes you spread around so you make sure they come true. So, here are my 2007 Christmas Season Wishes, feel free to grant them:

This photograph is just gorgeous. It's done by a technique called "through the viewfinder" - using a digital camera to take a photo through the viewfinder of an older camera.

OR

Old-esque "through the viewfinder" photographs transferred onto drink coasters? Yes, please! The only change I'd wish for is to switch the dark one to a photograph with more white space like the other three. Luckily the artist will make tiles with any photograph you want if you ask them.

SONY Portable e-book. It holds up to 1,000 books and uses new technology so reading it as comfortable as reading a normal book. Nothing will replace good old-fashioned paper in your hands but I'd be perfectly okay with toting around a thousand books in my pocket to read whenever I want without having to strap a U-Haul to my rear.

Seriously, how cute is this clutch - corral print fabric, with wood closure and giant button. I think I'm in love. I generally prefer to carry as little on me as possible, so clutch's are my dream purse. I think I'm going to have to go dig out my mom's vintage clutch now ...

Diggin' What?

2007-12-12T11:30:00.000-08:00

I'm really loving these two videos:

If I was ever musically talented enough to make a music video I think that would be it. She has animal headed bike riders following her and doing tricks TO HER MUSIC.

How much skillz does it take to sing your song backwards convincingly? A LOT. And the drummer is doing his thang perfectly backwards too. A little birdy told me that it was done in about three takes. THREE!

Holla to talented musicians who make music for my thankful ears.

What the S&*t

2007-12-07T11:27:00.000-08:00

I think shit is my favorite curse word.

No, I KNOW it's my favorite curse word.

Fuck is overused, overinflated, everyone and their mother says fuck when they're pissed off.

But, shit, now that's a good curse word and is so often overlooked because of that spotlight hogger fuck.

There's so much more aggression let out in the extended version: shhhhhhhhhhhhhit.

The quick version is just as satisfying, no long vowels to encumber verbalizing it multiple times: shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. It just flows off the tongue.

You can't say "that's the fuck", it's "that's the shit" or "that's the fuckin' shit". Fuck is just support cast for the main player.

Plus, it's translation into German is one of the raddest undercover curse words ever: sheisse. You can say it all day long and no one (but a German) will realize you're cursing. It's saved my relationship with my mother.

Give shit a chance.

Come On Ride The Train

2007-12-06T23:31:00.000-08:00

Everyone seems to have one of these shindigs and I am nothing if not ahead of the curve.

Here I am, world! Not new, but improved (arguably).

I plan to present you with one, all, or none of the following: music, movies, books, love, hate, boys, girls, my hair, your hair, his hair, gel, words, clothes, the absence of clothes, pictures, designs, frogs, dogs, shampoo, concerts, caffeinated beverages, abandoned song titles, kept album titles, who's who in Who, guitars, jewelry, fascinating people, funny people, awful people, thoughts, metaphors, questions, no answers, and, finally, pickles.

Ok, probably not gel.

See you around.