Restroom Etiquette

Restroom etiquette is a subject near and dear to my heart. Yes, I know it's kind of an odd subject to be passionate about, but too often people are ignorant of proper bathroom behavior.

Here's the layout of the restroom at my office (courtesy of MS Paint):



I've taken the liberty to label the stalls in order of proper use. Here are the required restroom etiquette rules:

- No. 1 is the restroom closest to the sinks. It is to be used first in deference to any possible handicap person that may need to use the large stall (if you prefer to disregard the needs of the handicapable of our society, feel free to switch numbers 1 and 2). Using restroom No. 1 first allows the next person to have a one-stall barrier between themselves and you. THIS IS ALWAYS PREFERABLE. I cannot stress that enough. Whenever possible, have a one-stall buffer between yourself and anyone else.

- NEVER USE THE MIDDLE STALL FIRST. This is also a must. If you enter the middle stall first, you require the next person in the restroom to use a stall next to you, instead of having the option to have a one-stall barrier. It is very rude to take the middle stall first.

- NEVER TALK TO ANYONE. This rule is slightly breakable if you are very good friends with the other person in the restroom, but it's only to be broken if you are the only people in the restroom. Otherwise, you may say a quick hello if you happen to wash hands at the same time.

Here is how a recent restroom experience broke all those rules:

I walked into the restroom slightly before another woman who works in another office in our building. She said hi and I greeted her back, then moved to enter Stall No. 1. She then asked me how I was doing. I said a quick "pretty well" before closing the stall door. She then entered Stall No. 3, completely disregarding bathroom etiquette rules of at least a one-stall buffer whenever possible. She then continued to talk to me while we were both in stalls! I don't even know how people think this is appropriate. I don't know her, I don't care about her day, especially not enough to discuss it while doing personal business. She continued to talk until we both parted ways in the hallway to our respective offices. She broke all the rules and is forever on my "Do Not Like" list. Avoid copying her horrible manners and, though I can't guarantee you won't make the list for another reason, you at least won't make it due to bad restroom etiquette.

Next week I will give you a primer on proper parking. See you then!

Nom Nom Nom

Hi, my name is Jen and I used to be addicted to caffeine.

I started working in a coffee shop at the ripe young age of 15. When you're a teenager and forced to be to work at 5 a.m. when you've likely only gotten home a few hours earlier, caffeine becomes your best friend. The moment I walked into work I would pour a cup of (free) coffee and end up sucking down many, many more by the time my shift ended.

This addiction ran strong until a couple months ago. At that point I was sucking down a 16 oz Sugar Free RedBull every morning on my way to work, then drinking Diet Coke with lunch and often dinner. It tasted of deliciousness.

I was also sleeping very, very poorly. Despite my love of sleep, I've never been a great sleeper - I awaken several times, toss and turn throughout the night in search of the cool side of the pillow, and stick my foot in and out from under the covers in an attempt to regulate temperature. The caffeine throughout the day definitely only exacerbated this rough sleep issue.

So a few months ago I decided to cut down and out. I won't lie - I still drink it at least once a week, but I'm doing my best to stop having any caffeine after 4 p.m. and I no longer drink RedBull on my way to work. Typically it's a soda with lunch, but now that I'm brown bagging instead of buying, I rarely bring a soda with me and have switched to water.

Now I'm drinking vats of water - so much water that I feel like I'm jumping up to the bathroom once an hour. In fact, I just stopped writing to go right now (TMI?).

I've noticed slow progress on my sleeping. I'm actually falling asleep earlier.

Who knew Faith was right?

I Stand Corrected

Vampire Weekend is my new music obsession. I seriously cannot get enough of their self-titled album.

It's fun, it's quirky, it has a fucking HARPSICHORD.

From what I've read, they're four ex-Columbia kids (the Ivy League university, not the country [which would be Colombia]) who spice up their east coast prep-school style with Afro-pop influences that's most obvious in the heavy rhythm and drum beats.

Here's an excellent review on Pitchfork.

Vampire Weekend come along like Belle & Sebastian and the Strokes each did, sounding refreshingly laidback and uncomplicated, and with simple set-ups that make good songs sound exceedingly easy. (The result being not "this is mind-blowing," or "this is catchy," but "I have listened to this, straight through, four times a day for the past month".)(emphasis mine)

The bolded portion is entirely accurate - from the moment I got this album I've listened to it non-stop all the way through. It helps that the songs are relatively short, but they're exceedingly catchy and lively - a pleasure to the ear that is almost addicting. You don't want to put it away because it's so spirit raising and infectiously happy.

Bring any baggage you want to this record, and it still returns nothing but warm, airy, low-gimmick pop, peppy, clever, and yes, unpretentious-- four guys who listened to some Afro-pop records, picked up a few nice ideas, and then set about making one of the most refreshing and replayable indie records in recent years.

Mostly this album makes me want to go sailing on a warm day between Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket with my preppy dog and a grosgrain ribbon in my hair while smirking at how pretentious it all is.

Too Cute - Might Faint

I've never really been a dog person. Sure, I enjoy other people's dogs, but I really dislike slobber. That wet, slimy, slick covering over everything that gets within a foot of their mouths ... -shudder-.

Which is why it's odd that I really, really want a Newfie. Unfortunately, they are also the king of the slobbering breeds - hence I will never get a Newfie.

But I might get a little dog just so I can dress them in this collection. How flippin' adorable is that red and white striped sweater?

The Real Capt. Awesome