Sleeeeeep

I'm currently running on about 10 hours of sleep for the last four days. I randomly get insomnia that makes me want to shoot myself in the face. Basically, it works like this: I'm tired all day and want to crash as soon as I get home, but I know if I go to bed at 6:30 p.m., I'll just be awake at 4 a.m. with nothing to do with myself. If I do decide that I'm tired enough to crash at 6:30 p.m., I'll inevitably wake up 30 minutes later with a light nap under my belt and push back the likelihood of sleeping like a normal person that night even further.

If I decide to not go to sleep when I get home, I'll putz around, make dinner, watch some T.V., play some guitar hero, read my email, read a book, play solitaire on my iPod ... until 1 a.m., when I realize that I've now stayed up way too late. I head to bed, with the knowledge in my head that I can't get enough sleep even for THIS night, much less to catch up on the previous nights.

By the time my head hits the pillow the only thing in my brain is "sleep! Please, for the love of God, let me fall asleep tonight" - which of course is the one thing that makes me unable to sleep. As soon as I feel myself drifting I inevitably think "thank god, sleep's coming" which takes me back to consciousness and pushes sleep further away.

Sometimes, though, I make a compromise between crashing as soon as I get home and accidentally staying up way too late. Last night I attempted to go to bed at 9 p.m. - but was insanely unsuccessful. I think the last time I looked at the clock it was sometime after 1 a.m.

Insomnia - you're a bitch.