Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Sweating and Blushing

IT IS SO HOT, you guys. SO HOT.

My desktop weather thingy says that the temps for the next four days are 97, 99, 98, and 94. Oh, and 60% humidity.

On the plus side I have a nice steam room wherever I go so my skin has never looked better. Unfortunately that goes along with sweating through every piece of clothing I own. Yea, I know it sounds gross, but at least you're just reading about it and not living it.

I'm apparently adjusting, though. I'm not sweating/glistening nearly as much as I was before at lower temperatures.

Okay, in exchange for having to read about sweat I'll give you a story about me embarrassing myself that you can laugh at:

Hot Boss hasn't toned down his hotness in the office despite my insistence that it's out of control (insistence communicated by blushing whenever he says hi to me).

Today he asked for my email so he could either 1) flirt with me without our coworkers knowing, or 2) send me a contract to review (in homage to awesome choose your own adventure books, I'll let you pick the option).

After sending me the email he came out of his office to let me know and then asked how to pronounce my last name, which I pronounced. Knowing that he knows German (what? so I read his bio on the company website. You're supposed to read the website of the company you work for, no?) and knowing that my family does not pronounce our last name correctly according to its origin, I was about to tell him that we pronounce it differently, he interjected asking me if I knew what it meant. I replied that it did, we had a cute little exchange of both saying the meaning at the same time, then him pronouncing it how it's originally pronounced.

He then asked if I was of germanic origin, to which I replied "I prefer Jen", because I thought he had asked me what I prefer to be called - I have no excuse other than he makes me nervous. After his confused look and my realization of what he actually asked I had two response options: 1) a long, very TMI and very 20/20-hindsight-vision-embarrassing schpiel about how I think I am but because of family stuff I wasn't sure and that the last name wasn't a blood relation thing but my mom's maiden name is very German and it IS a blood relation thing so I'm pretty sure I'm mostly German, but not entirely sure, or 2) "Yes."

I picked the first option.

I'm cringing just reliving it in my head. So, so bad. So bad.

In other law firm news: there's this old attorney that works some days at the office. Whenever I run into him I feel like I'm being tested on how smart and cultured I am and that if I'm not smart and cultured enough I'm a representation of all that is wrong with America. I know that's not true, but Americans tend to not be thought of well abroad and I don't want to confirm any "Americans are ignorant and don't care about the rest of the world" bias.

Yesterday he asked me all about films and various languages. He kept asking me if I spoke [fill in language], which I had to reply that I didn't. I said I picked up a bit of German in Germany, to which he replied something in German, which I didn't understand. I said I had picked up a couple words in Hungarian, to which he replied something in Hungarian, which I didn't understand. He asked if I knew French, which I said I don't, and then he said something in French. Finally I said that I spoke a small amount of Spanish, to which he replied something that I finally DID understand and could reply to in Spanish. That seemed to satisfy him for the day and the exchange fulfilled my awkward quota for the month.

Today was a literature quiz. Thankfully I answered well off the bat with my favorite author being John Steinbeck. He started listing off Steinbeck books and I started thinking "dangit, I was not prepared for a literature quiz, what are all of Steinbeck's books?" Thankfully he didn't make me list any. But then he went into his favorite authors, only some of which I had read or even heard of. I think I managed a B.

What? You want to hear MORE about my new office? Okay then!

I am WAY busier at the new office. They have a ton for me to do, mostly including correcting english on documents, but also some very interesting research on EU law.

I kind of freaked out today, though. Yesterday they had me read a contract and write a memo on how our client could get out of the contract. I thought I had misunderstood the assignment, because it was incredibly easy to look at the "Termination" clause of the contract and then write down what it said. Turns out that's what they were looking for and decided to communicate the contents of my memo to the client as a recommendation for how he could terminate the contract. I then freaked out and was like "Dudes! I'm not an attorney! I can't make official legal recommendations, especially on what constitutes serious breach of contract under Swedish law!" I didn't say that, but I had thankfully written basically that in more professional terms at the end of the memo. I think at some point I'll have to get used to people relying on my opinion, though.

Aaaaaaand now I'm going to go home and try and convince myself to put away my clothes, but I'll probably end up reading and then fall asleep instead. Exciting stuff!

Monday, July 12, 2010

New Jobbaroni

Say goodbye to Tom everyone! ("Bye Tom!")

Despite Tom being my future husband who won't ever know it (I mean, really - tall, cute, nerdy and funny - is there a better description for my future spouse? I think not - stupid pesky "hungarian" thing getting in the way), I have moved on to another firm. It may be the best for our relationship - no worries about being found out around the office and such. One of my goals in life is to avoid being tawdry and really, an office affair would have tawdry written all over it. So I have moved on.

The new firm is a block up the street from the old firm. It adds maybe 2 minutes to my looooooooooong less than 10 minute walking commute. It's quite a bit fancier in the interior, unfortunately that means a less comfortable desk and desk chair (I'm seriously going to have to find a new chair - there's no way I'm sitting in a straight backed wooden chair full time for 3 weeks). Also, their coffee machine is woefully less fancy. I may have to drop in and say hi at the old firm just to take some coffee.

Oh, and I found my new future husband who won't ever know it. Probably the most gorgeous guy I've seen in Budapest so far AND he speaks english with an english/UK accent. Suh-woon. I literally blushed when talking to him today. That's bad news. I can't be blushing up in my workplace, that's inapprop. I think I'm going to ask him to tone down the hotness so I can get some work done.

This weekend was pretty mellow. On Saturday the director of the program invited the three of us left in B-town to a graduation party. Apparently the undergrads graduated on Saturday and there was a party for all the professors and deans. It was very sweet of him to invite us, but it's one of the most awkward things I've ever been to in my life. These professors could care less who I am and, to be honest, I could really care less who they are. Add in their not so great English and my non-existent Hungarian and it's a lot of nodding and "nice to meet you" and "oh, that's interesting, I did not know that." My one attempt at a more significant conversation with a Hungarian Constitutional scholar/prof ("what do you think of the proposed new constitution?") was met with a glare from the host. I know, I know, don't talk politics with strangers, but as I have no opinion and was just asking theirs I didn't think it would be that big of a deal. Apparently still a bit deal.

After a good dose of awkward washed down with a bigger dose of wine I headed to one of the most massive malls I've ever been to. It was huge. Massive. Gigantor. You get the hint. Notorious B-I-G big. Ok, I'm done. Just, it was big, and I want you to know that.

(They're playing Ricky Martin in the McDonald's right now, but it sounds weirdly dubbed in a different language, right music video, right music, wrong voice - just thought you should know that too).

I watched the new Twilight movie (shut up, it was one of the few movies that wasn't dubbed) then went on the hunt for a fan for my room. I smartly picked a hostel without air conditioning, which saves the buckaronis, but does not save me from sweating out a water bed at night. On the fan hunt (during which I texted Tom asking where I could buy a fan and received back "Probably this word has a meaning that I don't know. What kind of 'fan' would you like to buy? Not the kind that supports a team, right?") I ran across THIS AWESOMENESSS:



I literally gasped out loud when I saw it. I was so excited. Way, way more excited than I should have been, but it is the ONLY Starbucks in Budapest. I didn't think they had one at all.

I drank a delicious iced americano, found a fan and headed back to the hostel. I intended to clean up my room and put stuff away into drawers but instead I read and then fell asleep.

Sunday dawned bright and early with 10 chimes of the non-existent grandfather clock. I attempted to do some laundry and the kind of sort of laundrymat around the corner but the only english word these ladies knew was "tomorrow." (I went back "tomorrow," aka today, after having used the washer at my hostel and just needing the dryer and it turns out they also know "No" and "wash then dry only"). So instead I went to the two museums on either side of Heroes Square. The one on the right is useless - so glad they gave me the student discount because every single piece was a complete stretch. I must not be cultured enough. The museum on the left side was pretty awesome. They had some beautiful pieces. I really have no idea what else to write about a museum.

On to the excitement! Watching the world cup final in an Irish bar that was so insanely hot I never put down the menu because I was fanning myself with it. After 120 minutes of pretty much nothing but me sweating and drinking a Guinness, Spain scored a goal and put us all out of our misery.

Ok, fine, that wasn't exciting at all, but I ran out of writing steam and snark like 10 minutes ago but figured I needed to round out the weekend anyway. You're welcome!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

The Entry Where I Wow You With My Delightful Genius

I've managed to pick up a bit of both German and Hungarian in the nearly 7 weeks I've been abroad. I would hope so ... being surrounded by a language for so long and not bothering to learn any of it would make me a pretty bad guest.

I managed to learn enough German to order food fairly well, but it basically consisted of me ordering, and the waiter writing it down. If they asked any follow up questions I was screwed. That's the hard part of trying to initiate conversation in a foreign language ... they continue in the foreign language and then you look like a jerk reverting back to english when the conversation gets more complicated. That rarely happened, though. My pronunciation is so bad they usually respond in english with any follow up.

Anyway, here is my mini German and Hungarian lesson for you. Print it out and take it with you if you ever go to Austria or Hungary and you'll be all set.

GERMAN:
Ich hitte gern ein groβ Märzen und ein frittatensuppe und ein käsespaetzle ohne zwiebel, bitta. (I would like a large Märzen [type of beer] and a soup with pancake slices and cheese dumplings without onion, please).

Ich hitte gern svei wasser ohne köhlensaure, bitta. (I would like two waters without gas, please).

Danke/dankeschön (thank you/thank you very much)
Bitte/bitteschön (you're welcome/you're welcome very much)

HUNGARIAN:
(This is way more basic because almost nothing in Hungarian sounds or looks similar to the equivalent english word, so it's much more difficult than German)
Igen (yes [eegan] - they often say it in a string of three or four)
Nem (no)
Jó (okay [yo])
szia (hello or goodbye)
köszönöm (Thank you [koh-soh-gnome]
Szívesen (You're welcome [see-va-shem])
egészségedre (Two uses: like bless you after someone sneezes or as a drinking cheers - it means "to your health" [egg-geh-sheh-geh-dreh)
szeretnék kérni (I would like ... [I haven't actually used this one yet, since Tom just wrote it down yesterday and I'm pretty sure I'm not pronouncing it even close to correctly])

Tom says my pronunciation is very good, so I'm pretty proud of myself. Though most of the time I feel like I'm in the middle of that SNL Nunni sketch - the one where two people who live in a weird apartment are both named Nunni. The normal people can't hear the slight differences and keep pronouncing their names wrong ("My name is Nunni." "Hi Nunni." "No, it's pronounced Nunni." "Sorry, Nunni." "No, Nunni" and on and on ...). The strange people likewise have difficulty pronouncing normal names ("Frank" turns into "Frwowude"). Man, this reference would be so much better if SNL didn't consistently take things off of YouTube and if I could access Hulu abroad. You'll have to suffer with my poor recount of a funny skit.

Ultimate lesson: learn "hello" and "thank you" in the language of wherever you are and you'll get places. Everyone is so delighted when I bust out some Hungarian.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Tom's Favorite Joke(s)

As promised, here's Tom's favorite joke (he says that it's his current favorite joke and he probably chose this one because it has an American theme):

George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are sitting in a bar. A third man walks in, sees the President and Vice-President sitting there and approaches them, exclaiming "Wow! The President AND Vice-President here in my local bar! I can't believe it. I'm so honored to meet you both."

Bush replies "it's very nice to meet you too. Dick and I were just having an argument you might be able to help us with. See, we want to start a third world war and we're debating on how to get it started. I say we should kill 3,000,000 Arabs and one postman."

The man appears confused and says "Why one postman?"

Bush turns to Cheney and says "See, I told you no one cares about 3,000,000 Arabs."

______________________________________

You peeps are so lucky. Tom gave me TWO jokes for one measly joke of mine ( after which I apparently insulted him because I said I wasn't sure if he had heard of Superman, which was the punch line).

Joke #2:

The UN attempted to conduct a survey on various country's opinions of world food shortages. They sent out the following question: "Please tell us your opinion of the lack of food in the rest of the world." This survey failed because Western Europe didn't understand "lack," Eastern Europe didn't understand "please," China didn't understand "opinion," Africa didn't understand "food," and the United States didn't understand "the rest of the world."

Tom is obviously quite into political jokes.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Why Hello There

Work has become much better. Too good, in fact. I have so many projects that I had to request an extension on one of them. Hence, the lack of blog updating, which my friend, Arse, has not stopped bugging me about.

Arse asked me to include a dirty joke in my blog because he won't write one in his, but he really wants to link to one. I do not have a dirty joke. I do, however, have my coworker Tom's favorite joke.

Actually, I don't. I was going to ask him today at lunch, but he worked right through it so he could listen to the futbol/soccer game on his computer (he currently has his desk cleared of work and both his speakers and the screen pulled up towards him to watch the game - he's here and not in a bar because he still has to make billable hours). I will ask him on Monday and regale you with the hilarity. He's a pretty funny guy so I'm confident his favorite joke will also be funny. And maybe it will also be dirty and it will both entertain you and get Arse off my back. No pressure, Tom.

This is the last week that pretty much everyone other than Serious Man and Obnoxious Girl will be here, so we've been going big and not going home (until late). Well, it feels late, in reality it's about midnight, but I'm old and have to work the next day like a responsible adult!

On Wednesday night we went on a dinner cruise up the Danube and it was lovely and delicious. They served a bunch of traditional hungarian food that was pretty tasty. It's finally stopped raining, but on the downside it's become insanely hot. I can't decide which one I like less. Growing up in Southern California has definitely spoiled my range of comfortable temperatures.

On Tuesday we had drinks at the Four Seasons - it was so fancy and delightful! I'm obviously meant to spend lots of time in places like that. Along with the drinks they brought a tray full of olives, spicy almonds and mini cheese biscuits, which they refilled three times. I hadn't had lunch that day, so it was basically a free lunch with purchase of overpriced drink meal deal.

I would continue with the reverse chronology and tell you what we did on Monday, but I can't remember. I don't think it was very exciting. Oh! I do know that we saw the Amrican Embassy ... well, a conference room of the American embassy. Apparently most of the building is top secret. Not the world's greatest tour, but we did learn about a guy with a pretty awesome job in the foreign service - he basically is the american liason in Hungary for arts and entertainment (i.e., he helps out american artists who have shows in Hungary) and gets to attend pretty much all of the shows. I would want that job except for the living in a different foreign country every three years part. I like to travel, but I'd prefer to spend the majority of my time in the states.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

You Take The Good, You Take The Bad

... you take them both, and there you have the facts of life.

That theme song popped into my head when I decided to write this post. It's pretty apropos ... well, the lyrics, not the show. No, wait, scratch that, it's a bit similar to the show too - learning to live with people you aren't related to in a new environment. Sure, it's a bit of a comparative stretch, but I think it can work if you want it to.

Ok, away from delightful 80's TV shows and back to Budapest ...

Yesterday was a pretty great day. I arrived to work at 10am. I met with the Big Boss Man for about 5 minutes and he sent me back downstairs after handing me his business card. I have a feeling I won't be seeing him again any time soon. Very typical partner maneuver of giving the new kid a "hello, welcome, good luck, see you later." I think the assistants thought he would be assigning me tasks, and he thinks they're assigning me tasks, so I yet again had nothing to do but surf the internet (which, coincidentally, is my non-task for today, hence the blog post).

I left at noon from work to join everyone else on their tour of the Hungarian Parliament:

(all images stolen from Wikipedia because I can't upload my pictures onto my work computer)

It's an incredibly gorgeous building and the inside is just as striking as the outside. Randomly, the Speaker of the House (and, it seemed, possible new President soonish?), just happened to be in the rotunda as we were being given a tour and since the director of the program on the Hungarian side is friends with him, we were able to meet him. Seemed like quite a nice guy.

THEN we got in a bit of trouble after the tour. See, there was a sign on the wall that seemed to say "restroom", so we followed it and actually found a restroom ... so three of us used it. When we exited we found the tour guide lady and a very large guard, arms crossed and shaking his head at us as if to say "How ridiculous that they just wandered off and used a restroom they weren't instructed to use, I can't believe someone would do that." There was a LOT communicated in that shake of his head. They quickly escorted us outside, with more shaking of the guard's head. The rest of the group had apparently put their lives on the line (not really) insisting that there were some of us still behind in the building and the group couldn't quite leave yet. Seriously, do not mess with the guards in the Hungarian Parliament building.

After that little adventure, we walked around a bit and went to St. Stephan's Basilica, where they, kind of creepily, have his right hand in a glass case in one of the side chapels. The church is gorgeous, as usual. I have yet to be in a church here that wasn't completely striking and awe inspiring (Hmm, I have to think that's somehow intentional ...). I think I've been in church more on this trip than I have in the last couple years (sorry mom and dad).

After St. Stephen's we went to a famous pastry and ice cream shop: Gerbaud. It was beautiful and DELICIOUS. All four of us had something different and they were all so, so good.

I think that's actually three of the items we ordered. I had the white one in the back - crushed walnuts with creme between layers of cake. Ah-may-zing.

I headed back after snack time becuase my work shoes were definitely not hiking-around-Budapest-sight-seeing shoes. Once everyone else got back we headed down to the Gellert baths. Hot baths in intricately tiled rooms and great company? Yes please! I'd go there every day if I could. Ok, that's a lie, I probably wouldn't, but it was still amazing and relaxing.

After we towelled off and changed we headed to dinner. We were just walking down a street with a bunch of restaurants and stumbled on this great Italian-Hungarian restaurant, Rustico. We're all already kind of over the heavy traditional eastern european cuisine, so we all ordered off the Italian side of the menu. It was seriously some of the best Italian food I've ever had. I'm not sure why this surprised me, since we're much closer to Italy here than in the states. I'll definitely be going back while I'm here. We split two bottles of wine, one a delicious Rose' and the other, the traditional "Bull's Blood." The name is disgusting, but is one of the most delicious red wines I've ever had. I want to bring a couple bottles back home.

Aaaaaaaaaand after that very long day we headed back home and crashed out. One of the best days of the trip, so far.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Budapest!

I know, I know. It's been a couple weeks since my last update. In my defense I've been in places with very poor internet access.

I'm currently blogging because I'm at my internship office and the boss is almost an hour late and they have no idea what to do with me. So here I sit browsing the internet until he arrives.

Budapest has been great so far, other than the sketch train station and the pushy cab drivers.

When we arrived on Saturday the leader of the program from here in Budapest had his assistant waiting for us. We thought she would just check us in and take off, but instead she drove us all around the city. We had our own private tour and it was amazing. I'll post pictures soon (since I'm on the office computer I don't have access to them).

I've now walked across the three southern bridges between Buda and Pest, have been up to the castle and museums, been to Hero's square and up and down Vac´i street, which is a main shopping street kind of like 5th Avenue, only not quite as ritzy. It's a pedestrian only zone so it's more of an outdoor mall.

Ok, I think the boss is almost here!

P.S. forgive any typos. The keyboard here is different and it underlines almost all words in red, so I have no idea which ones are actually misspelled and which are just non Hungarian and I don't have time to read closely.