Can I be real with you?
Can I get down with you? Can we talk mano y mano (which, by the way, means "hand to hand", and not "man to man", although this case would be fingertips to eyeball, or possibly fingertips to voice text reader if a blind person happened to "read" my page [but, to be honest, that's not really the demographic I'm going for - sorry possible blind person])?
I turn 25 in 4 1/2 months and it's fuckin' flipping me out, man! Here's what I get at 25:
- Cheaper car insurance (awesome)
- The ability to rent cars without my parents co-signing (awesome)
- A $478 tax deduction if I'm single without children and make less than $12,750/year (awesome out of something not very awesome)
- TO BE A QUARTER OF A CENTURY OLD (not awesome)
Guess which one I'm focusing on? No, not renting cars, as awesome as that may be - it's the last one.
It means I no longer have any chance to be on one of those "Fabulous and Fierce Under 25" lists in a magazine. IT COULD HAVE HAPPENED, but not anymore. There's no way I can make the several million dollars it requires to make one of those lists in just 4 1/2 months (hmm ... lottery *mental note: start buying lottery tickets*).
25 is also the start of adulthood. Who the hell wants that? Why, oh, why couldn't I have been a successful pop star or actress at a young age so I could make the millions necessary to stunt my emotional growth at the age of whenever I was able to surround myself with yes men and thus be a teenager for life? I blame my parents for not signing me up for singing lessons.
So, this May 31st I will be celebrating the 4th Anniversary of my 21st birthday .... and you can't stop me!
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2 comments:
i don't think winning the lottery would qualify as fierce anyway, it just means you could buy yourself a small guatamalan child with no hassels. seriously, i saw it on dateline last week.
I felt the same way.
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