Currently Perusing

Did you know that "perusing" means "reading carefully with intent to remember?"

It's okay if you didn't - I think there's a healthy chunk of English speaking people who use it incorrectly, who use it to mean "halfheartedly flipping through" when it actually means the exact opposite.

So, I've been perusing (correct definition) the above book - I Know This Much Is True by Wally Lamb. Please ignore the giant "Oprah's Book Club" stamped on the front, because it's definitely not why I picked the 920+ page book up.

I first became familiar with Wally Lamb waaaaay back in junior high, when I convinced my mom to buy me She's Come Undone at Costco. I can still remember the moment - I was flipping through the book section and came upon a paperback She's Come Undone, started reading the first few pages and was hooked. But there was a problem - the copious amount of swear words uttered by the embattled young heroine, Delores Price, would never pass the Mom Censor (tm). It took me several minutes to find a single page without a swear word or other inappropriate reference that would have alerted my mother that it wasn't a book she should buy her 13 year old daughter. I succeeded, though, and walked out of Costco with my contraband clutched to my chest for fear my mother might take a second look at a page I hadn't carefully picked.

I took it home and read it cover to cover (without going around the back) in two summer days. I had tried for one, but had been physically unable to keep my eyes open past 3 a.m. Barely 50 pages into the book it became glaringly obvious that it was not a book I should have been reading at that age and I delighted in the maturity of it. I didn't hear a peer reference reading the book until my senior year of high school, certainly a more appropriate age. Even at that moment, I was excited that I had read the book 5 years earlier.

Ok, off She's Come Undone - the gist is that the book made me love Wally Lamb's writing, his ability to create these intricate, often unlikeable characters whom you couldn't help but root for. That's why I picked up the gigantic I Know This Much Is True.

So far it hasn't disappointed. It's a story of twin brothers, Dominick and Thomas Birdsey, one of whom suffers from schizophrenia. It covers the boys childhood under the abusive hands of an overbearing step-father and a meek, weak, and also abused mother. It's told through the voice of the sane brother, Dominick, who has spent his entire life standing as his brother's protector, sometimes giving up the role, sometimes being crushed under its weight, and always bitter over the toll and effect its had on his own life.

I think I've really identified with Dominick and his relationship with his brother. I have a mentally handicapped brother who, while very high functioning - certainly MUCH higher than Thomas Birdsey and not in any way crazy, is still someone I've spent and will spend my entire life protecting. Someone who, once my parents pass away, will be my responsibility to take care of and look after.

When I was younger, and decidedly more selfish, I was bitter about it. Bitter that I spent my childhood defending my brother against the bullies on our street instead of making friends; bitter that I didn't have the ideal older brother who was protective and had cute friends; bitter that I had to assume the "oldest child" caretaker role.

At the point I am in the book, Dominick Birdsey has given up and left his brother to the care of a psychiatric ward. I hope by the end he comes around to where I'm at now because, similar to his brother Thomas, my brother is one of the kindest, most caring and genuine people I've ever met and despite the difficulties we may have and the number of times we butt heads, he's my brother and I love him unconditionally and will always be there to take care of him, because I know he wouldn't hesitate to do the same if the roles were reversed. If Dominick doesn't come around, I'll have to dislike a character I've really grown to enjoy and he'll end up a mediocre man in difficult circumstances. Perhaps that's the character Lamb intended to create, but based on the redemption of Dolores Price by the end of her story, I have a feeling that's not the direction Dominick is heading. I look forward to discovering his resolution.