Showing posts with label Rules to Live By. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rules to Live By. Show all posts
Friday, April 18, 2008
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About Me
- Jen
- When I was 5 I starred as a precocious toe-head in a popular sitcom that lasted for three seasons and can still be seen in syndication on Pax TV. At the age of 8 I had a botched nosejob that couldn't be repaired until my features matured, effectively ruining what critics had hailed as the beginning of a promising career. Luckily, my financial manager took the bulk of my earnings from the show and invested in his high school best friend's risky upstart tech company known as Apple. Now that my hundreds of thousands are now millions I live on a large compound in the hills of Hollywood and breed shitz-a-poos for fun. While I spend most of my time petitioning the American Kennel Association to recognize my new breed I also enjoy the olive bar at Whole Foods, learning Spanish from my housekeeper Helga, and frivolous lawsuits. None of this is true, but if it was, I wouldn't have a blog.