Survey Says ...

I'm subscribed to survey website which sends me surveys to fill out maybe once a week or once every two weeks. It does actually pay, but I qualify so infrequently for the demographics they look for, that I've completed only 3 or 4 full surveys over the last two years for a grand total of $20 in my pocket and some free facial cleansing cloths from what I assume was Dove (unlabeled, but the cloths looks exactly like the Dove ones I buy - score!).

I just finished filling out a survey for Bread X (anonymized because, while I don't remember the terms of service, I'm sure there's something in there about not divulging the survey contents). It was one of the strangest surveys I've taken.

The gist was the bread brand is trying to market directly to women and is feeling out the reaction to putting together a women centric website centered around healthy living. They want you to connect their bread with healthy living.

The survey went on to ask if buying Bread X correlated with some goals women have, like:

- Hiking the Pacific Something Trail
- Getting more fiber in their diet
- Learning how to swing dance
- Learning a new language
- Biking to work three days a week

Maybe I'm just dense, but honestly the only connection to bread I made was getting more fiber. A specific brand of bread doesn't so much correlate to the others (other than very cursorily as a possible part of a healthy diet). Not "I eat Bread X therefore I can learn how to swing dance!"

But here was the best part: one of the last questions was "Are big companies bad for society?", which you were to answer either strongly disagree, disagree, neutral, agree, or strongly agree. What?! I can't answer that question with one of those five choices. There are insane amounts of nuance to answering that question. What they really needed was an "it depends" option.

Ridiculousness

I'm a huge fan of Craigslist. Huge with a capital H.

The free section, the furniture for sale that I could browse all day, the cool apartments I'll never be able to afford and the unintentional (though sometimes intentional) hilarity encapsulated in Missed Connections. But of all of these my favorite is the furniture. Awesome stuff for cheap always wins my heart.

Today I passed a consignment store and decided to stop in, thinking that it was just a physical manifestation of my beloved Furniture For Sale section, though probably much classier considering they had to pay rent and all. But oh no, my friends, the only similarities were the prevalence of scratches and stains on the furniture, sans deep discounts warranted by said scratches and stains.

Today, in the "classy" consignment store were two pieces of Ikea furniture. The first (in bright pink):



Brand New Retail Price: $49.99
Craigslist Used Price: $15-$20
Consignment Price: $49.00

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, a whole $.99 cheaper! But it's a deal because it's all worn in for you. None of that effort usually required to make it seem used and broken in.

Next up:



Brand New Retail Price: $39.99
Craigslist Price: $15
Consignment Price: $49.00

No, your eyes don't deceive you. That lovely, but obviously cheap, chair up there is being sold used for $9.01 more than it sells for brand spanking new.

So, if you're looking for a way to get some cash for random furniture laying around, even if that furniture is stuff you bought on the cheap at Ikea during college, take it on down to a consignment store and you'll get back even more than you originally paid for it.

Trains, Planes, and Automobiles

I flew across the country last weekend to visit my ailing grandmother in South Carolina. It was a bittersweet few days full of decent air travel, awful sleep (partially in bathtubs), much missed family, and my only grandparent left feeling the onset of mortality and divvying up her life possessions.

I was gifted some things I really wanted, was barred from claiming other things I really wanted and spent an entire day sifting through old family photographs (including a couple sweet tintypes of relatives with long forgotten names).

The album I'll be putting together of all these photographs will also be bittersweet. They're my last name's family history, but not really mine. My dad was adopted so though I'm technically related to the people in the photos, they're not my ancestors. Someday, probably after my grandmother passes, I'll hunt down the blood relatives.

On the plane ride home I sat next to a guy who's initial words to me were "I don't let anyone I sit next to wear headphones" as I was pulling my iPod out. He turned out to be right. I didn't put those head phones on once the entire time we were in the air. It turned out that we knew a lot of the same people and his wife was best friends with my ex-step-sister and I had been to his father-in-law's church several times. I don't think I've ever talked the entirety of a plane ride before, but it was great - I barely noticed how long we were in the air.

We were supposed to look each other up on Facebook, but I've since forgotten his last name and his first is way too common to be of any use. I'll chalk him up to being a short-term friend, the kind you don't look up even though you say you will because attempting to extend the relationship beyond the short time you were brought together will just be awkward.

"You'd be surprised at the things I can do."

I owe someone $10

Ok, so now I owe someone $10 on the "my boss won't do anything for my 2 year anniversary" bet I laid out in my previous post.

I knew exactly what I was getting 10 minutes ago, even though I received it 5 minutes ago.

Why? Because I process the business credit card transactions. About a year ago, my boss spent $50 at Starbucks (a store he never personally goes into). Also about a year ago, I received a $25 gift card. 10 minutes ago I heard him rummaging deep in his desk drawers.

Ta Da!

2 Year Anniversary gift: $25 Starbucks gift card - the other half of that year old Starbucks transaction.

I'm going to go buy myself a grande sugar-free hazelnut extra foam latte.

Random Thoughts by Jen Handy

My parents have been separated since I was two and are both now remarried to great people. I often hope that my future spouse has divorced and remarried parents so we can have 4 sets of grandparents as potential FREE babysitters.

My mom says that she'll still be number one grandma, no matter how many extras there are to compete with.

_______________________

Tomorrow is my 2 Year Anniversary at my job. I was only supposed to be here for a year.

I bet anyone $10 that like both my birthday and Assistant's Day, my boss does absolutely nothing to recognize this.

_______________________

I was in three weddings this summer and I survived! It was a long, grueling pace of bridal showers, bachelorette parties, dress purchasings and fittings, shoe buying, hair and makeup be-doneing, rehearsal dinners and ceremonies. I love each person whose wedding I was honored to be a part of but am SO GLAD it's all over. Also, I will happily be a bridesmaid for my loved ones, but refuse to give any more speeches.

My introverted self was stressing out over all the necessary schmoozing and small talking with people I don't know.

_______________________

To end on a Debbie Downer note: my sole remaining grandmother (and the one I was actually close to) is being transferred from her apartment in a retirement center to assisted living. Stay strong geema!

These are a few of my favorite words:

Indubitably
Sacrosanct
Juxtaposition
Rebuffed
Chiaroscuro

Not for their definitions; solely for the way they roll off the tongue.

Let Them Eat Cake!

I love cake. Of course I do. I mean, who DOESN'T love cake? That's right: crazy people.

My most recent favorite was definitely Helen's wedding cake. Delicious layers of lemon cake with fresh raspberries sandwiched in between. Just look at this awesomeness:



But what if Helen hadn't hired a REAL professional, with references, and instead let her drunk aunt Mary who claimed to be a professional cake decorator provide her with a cake? It might have gone a little something like this:

Inspiration Cake -



ACTUAL Cake - (requested to be all white w/ green accents but otherwise like above)



Find more of these awesome cake disasters at my new favorite website: http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/