Dig the Buzz

This is something I wrote a couple months ago:

I fully admit that I am addicted to caffeine in the form of delicious Diet Coke. I can usually limit myself to one glass a day, but if I don't get it, I get pretty grumpy. I am also, until tomorrow, very poor. Hence, I have not had Diet Coke in three days. Three. whole. fucking. days. I finally had enough and, determined to buy some nectar of the gods, scrounged my house, purse, and car for any spare change. I came up with $1.71, an amount that would buy me a 2-liter of Diet Coke. As long as it was $1.50 on the shelf I would then have enough for 7.75% sales tax and about $0.09 of monetary wiggle room.

I strode into my grocer of choice, confident in the fact that I would be able to purchase my beloved God Juice and tame the thirst I had been ravaged with for three days. I plucked the bottle off the shelf and meandered over to the self check out aisle, scanned it, heard the joyous beep indicating it was almost mine, glanced at the total .... $1.72. I was ONE FUCKING PENNY too poor. It was certainly revenge from all those pennies I had left after dropping them, smug in the knowledge that they were basically worthless. I had completely forgotten about the $0.10 mandatory recycling tax, a.k.a. "Redemption Value." I hung my head, returned the bottle to the shelf and was positive I'd spend the rest of the day in bed, waiting for the clock to turn midnight and my paycheck to be deposited.

When I reached my car, a dejected, poor failure, I opened the door, certain I had searched everywhere for every last penny - there it was, gleaming and beautiful on the driver side floor mat - a solitary, shiny copper penny. $1.72.

The nectar of the gods is mine.